the last summer | conrad fisher

thoughts.

i sat downstairs with steven. the last couple days i've spent most of my time with him. we haven't had much time together this summer and it's been nice spending it with my best friend.

but, i still haven't shook the feeling of conrad moving here alone. i go home in two weeks. and he'll be here. alone. without jeremiah or belly or steven. or even me.

but i do understand it. he feels closer to his mum. she's buried in a place she loves and he'll be living in a place with happy memories and not ones that taunt him.

but i have thought of something. something crazy, and probably a bit over the top. but i'm not 100% certain on what to do just yet. but all. i know is i need to speak to someone about it before i drive myself insane.

"eve what's up" steven said pulling me out of my trance

"huh" i say turning to him

"i called you a few time" he laughs

"oh" i sigh

"seriously what's going on" he said with a more stern look

"no nothing. i'm fine" i smile

"i know your not. but i'm not going to push you" he said with a little smile

i move over and rest my head on steven's shoulder.

"if i tell you what im thinking. you can't tell anyone." i sigh

"go on" he said

"i mean it steven. because i don't even know. you can't say a word" i said looking up to him

"i wont evie. your kind of scaring me" he said sitting up straight

"you going to think im absolutely mad" i say with a little laugh

"ive always thought that. so, what is it" he said

"I haven't been able to shake the thought of conrad moving here alone. everytime i think about it my heart drops to my stomach. and i though maybe, just maybe, i might move here with him" i say shrugging my shoulders with a little smile

"are you crazy" he said jumping up

"i did say your going to think it's a mad idea" i say looking up at him

"what about your mum and jayden. have you thought about that. your going to be moving to the other side of the world" he yelled

"steven quiten down" i hush him

"that's why im so confused. i don't want to leave them. but i can't leave him either" i sigh looking down

"look. you want my advice" he said sitting beside me.

"think it through a bit more. wait until you actually know what you want to do. think through every possible thing and make sure your making the right decision." he sighed pulling me into a hug

"do what's best for you" he sighed kissing my head

"i think it would be good for me. i have so much trauma at home. it might be a good thing" i say letting a tear fall

"think it all through. please. i don't want you doing something your going to regret" her smiled pulling me away from the hug wiping my eyes

"i'll stick by whatever you want to do" he smiled

"thank you steven" i smile

"always" he smiled

                                        ++

it's been about a week and we're all in the pool sucking up our last week together before we all head home. i've been thinking through everything and i'm still not sure what i want to do yet. but i know i need to decide sooner rather than later.