No Regrets

Chapter 1

     I grabbed my favorite Barbie doll from my toys chest and carefully sat her on the gray carpeted floor. She had been placed next to my 1985 tropical doll which my mother had given me on my third birthday. It was her doll before she passed it down to me; her mom bought her the doll on her tenth birthday. I grabbed the tea set, which my mom had been kind enough to make me real mint tea with a cup of sugar and fresh mint, despite her being busy with cleaning the house and making dinner for my dad. He worked as a construction worker and so, his job had intense labor making him tired after his exhausting job. Wanting only to eat dinner and drink before going to bed. With my tea in hand, I sat down with my dolls. As I handed them their cups and began serving the hot tea, I announced, "Teatime Michelle and Wendy! I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy it!" I added a spoonful of sugar in each of the cups and stirred it until it had dissolved.

     I had named my dolls Michelle and Wendy after my favorite show, "Devin and the Princess." A 2005 show that had been running for two years, it would run for its third season this winter. The show was about Devin, an astronaut who found a strange planet where a Princess called Delilah lived. Once there, their adventures would consist of fighting the evil creatures who wanted to take over the kingdom, as well as trying to reunite her with her long-lost family. It was a cute show about how important it was to have a healthy relationship with friends and family. How, even despite people's flaws, they are able to still love and be loved by others. It had taught me what my mom always repeated to me, to be kind even when the people don't deserve it. I believed this was the way to live, despite everything I had seen in my life.

     Chugging the mint tea, I lifted the small teacups which had been placed in between my Barbie's legs and made them drink, careful not to spill the actual tea. Once I had finished, Michelle's and Wendy's teacups were given to me. "Thank you so much ladies for finishing!" I exclaimed joyfully and drank their tea. I wasn't going to let this go to waste just because I had used my imagination to make them drink this delicious tea my beautiful mother made.

     Putting the cups away in my pink and white box I heard the door open. It was dad, he had returned from his job. I winced and flinched at the door slamming closed and his immediate shouting once inside our small apartment, whilst slurring his words, "Rossetta! Rossetta where the fuck are you?"

     I heard mother cautiously speaking to him, making sure not to anger by already heated dad, "In the kitchen. I'm just finishing washing the dishes!" My mother always made sure to keep her tone calm and passive, in order not to sound hostile and get herself in more trouble, for she feared what he would do if she ever reprimanded him. She made sure to vow this so my dad wouldn't go from shouting and hitting her, to targeting me, her precious angel who she wanted to protect and my dad knew this was her weakness.

     Dad stumbled through the living room, almost falling on the brown leather couch. He made it to the kitchen. "The place is filthy! Can't you ever do one thing, right?" He said bitterly, almost disgusted.

     Mother dried the dish which she had rinsed off the soap just moments prior and put it away. "I am so sorry dear; I was busy making dinner. Time must have slipped from my mind." She said looking at the clock on the stove: 9:30 pm. Shit, she thought to herself. She really did let time slip her mind. She was certain he had just gotten home earlier than usual. And it wasn't like she didn't do any cleaning, she did. I watched her sweep and mop the floors before getting started on dinner, mumbling to herself, I heard her say she needed to finish cooking and then continue cleaning the apartment. My dad was very strict on how clean the apartment should be. It should always be shiny and pristine, no dirt, no trash, no grease, no stains. Clean for his eyes and for his body as he sat and walked around the house in a drunken state.

     Screaming from dad ensued. I had put away all the things in my room, except for the tea seat which needed to go into the sink. But I would never ever dare to think about leaving my room while my dad yelled in a roaring fit. Instead, I flinched and almost fell to the ground as I struggled to pick up the tea set and hide it in the closet. With shaky hands, I ran to my door locked it before hiding inside my closet alongside the tea set. I brought my legs close to me and curled up in a ball as my back squeezed the closet wall. I closed my eyes and began to block out the screaming. Thinking about how my mom and I could have had a normal life if it wasn't for my dad. Despite being six years old, I knew this was wrong and I knew that my mom didn't have the strength to leave him. I knew a lot for being six, and it brought tears to my eyes as I desperately tried to go into my fantasy world.