You Ran Away, You're All The Same

Part 24 - Memories

The next day Corey and I called around and found a doctor that could see us the same day for our first ultrasound.

"Babe are you ready yet?" Corey yelled through the bathroom door.

"Almost, give me 10 more minutes" I hollered back.

Once I finished getting ready and walked into the kitchen, the guys were in the backyard. Some were in the pool, and some were standing around and talking. I wondered how having a baby around would change things . Not just with the band, but between Corey and I too. I've always thought about having children but never thought I would be married to the Big Mouth and having a baby with him.

As I poured a cup of decaf coffee, since Paul went through the house and threw away anything that wouldn't be good for a pregnant woman, I thought more about my past. About how I ended up where I am.

*~Flashback~*

"Get back here you fucking bitch!" Joe yelled as I ran away from his grasp.

"Joe you're drunk! Please stop!" I screamed with tears falling down my face.

Running through the house trying to create distance between us, I made it to the bathroom. Slammed the door, locked it, and sobbed. I slid down beside the toilet trying to make myself as small as possible.

With every punch Joe made into the bathroom door, I shook and held my legs tighter to my chest.

"Baby baby please open the door" He pleaded.
"I'll stop, I swear I'll stop. Just please come out and talk to me. I love you so much Steph. Come on" He kept pleading and sounding like a broken record.

After a few quiet minutes, I had calmed down enough to try and stand up. My legs were weak, my eyes were swollen. Against my better judgment, I trusted his words and opened the bathroom door. There he sat in the hallway just beside the door.

He quickly stood up when he saw my face.

"Steph, I'm sorry. You know you can't reason with me when I've been drinking." Joe tried to explain.

I didn't say a word. Just walked to the bedroom and tried to rest. I laid in bed all night, thinking about if this was the way love was supposed to be. Yelling, punching, blood shed.

*~End Flashback ~*

I was snapped out of my memories by the awful feeling of throwing up. I ran to the half bathroom attached to the kitchen and dry heaved. I must have been loud because Corey and Paul came running into the house.

Corey held my hair back while Paul got me a glass of water and tried to make me feel better by telling jokes.

"You know, at least you made it to the toilet." Paul tried to say without laughing.

"Yeah yeah fucker, get out of here." Corey said while shutting the door.

"Are you okay baby?" Corey asked while sitting down beside me and rubbing my back.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just morning sickness I guess." I said while dry heaving into the toilet.

We sat there for a good ten minutes while my stomach calmed down. Corey held my hand and tried his best to keep my hair from falling in my face. I could see his face out the corner of my eye and he looked worried.

"Corey I'm fine. It's part of the pregnancy." I reassured him.

"I know but I still don't like to see you sick."

Once we got up off the floor, we walked into the living room. Paul was watching some music video on the TV while flipping through a magazine.

"We'll look who's finally emerged from the depths of the toilet." Paul said while laughing.

"Hush Pauley. Your niece or nephew doesn't like the smell of coffee apparently." I replied with a stern look on my face while sitting down beside him.

Paul put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a side hug. I put my head on his shoulder while closing my eyes.

"Steph, we need to be going if we want to be on time." Corey stated quietly while he stood near me.

I rolled my eyes and followed Corey to the front door.

The drive to the doctors office was filled with silence. I don't know why I've been so quiet today, probably just from remembering the past. I never really told Corey, or anyone for that matter, about what happened between Joe and I. I always wanted to forget it, but all these years later, the memories are starting to come back.

Corey turned the radio on and we listened to whatever station was playing. I couldn't even tell you what it was because I was consumed with watching the world go past us outside the passenger side window.

"Babe, please talk to me. Something is in your mind." Corey said painfully.

"It's nothing, I just remembered a moment from the past. Didn't want to but it happened." I said while still looking out the window.

Corey placed his hand on my knee while keeping the other one on the steering wheel.
"Was it of the night I found you?" He asked.

"No, it was from about a week before that." I answered. Lacing our fingers together and holding his hand while it continued to rest on my leg.

"You never told me about that." He said softly while squeezing my hand.
"But you don't have to. Not unless you want to, and if you do, take your time. That night I found you in Des Moines, I knew it couldn't have been the first time."

"It wasn't the first time" I managed to say while fighting back tears. "It was just the worst damage he had done. Normally there wasn't blood, just bruises and hurt feelings"

"Maybe we can talk after the appointment, I want to be sure you and our baby are okay."

With those words, my heart felt full. Here is the man that loves me and wants to make sure I'm okay mentally and physically.

What did I do to deserve such a pain in my ass, but yet the love of my life?