The Reunion: Still Falling For You (EN)

chapter 2.9

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The first sessions were fruitless. Maya's silence lasted almost three weeks, until a word triggered a reaction. A word that Pruitt, Ollie and Andy hadn't dared utter.

-"Maya, can you tell me about Carina?"

Maya's vague eyes had left their trance-like state and they had looked at Diane.

She had looked at her for a few moments, as if she didn't know who this woman was, as if she didn't know what she was doing there. But all she knew was that she had to answer him.

-"She's the woman I love".

/End of flashback 2015/

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-"One evening in March, I was at home, alone. That was the date we spoke for the first time in two-thousand-and-nine... And I missed you... I missed you so much. It was very hard for me.

In two-thousand-and-ten I could mourn your departure... Everyone knew you were gone and that I was going to miss you. But after the Olympics... I couldn't... No one knew I'd seen you... So I didn't 'heal'... I couldn't get used to the pain of losing you again... And I lived in hope of seeing you again, just as I had for the Olympic Games.

So I was alone at home and I had uninstalled Facebook from my phone at the beginning of the year two thousand and twelve because I really wanted to contact you... And I just... I just wanted to know if you'd made it as a teacher, if you, if I, if I could find out any information..."

She had wiped her cheek.

"...I don't remember, not really what happened.... It's, mostly bits and pieces... I remember seeing that you were married and... After throwing my phone against the fireplace, then my beer, it's all a blur. I've been drinking... a lot... A lot... I think it was something like five bottles... Whisky, bourbon, gin, tequila, vodka, I broke at least three of the bottles, one of which I would have thrown out of the window."

-"Is that why you don't want to drink anymore?" Carina asked, trying not to cry, sensing that the worst was yet to come.

- "among other things... I was so drunk I stepped on glass, with both feet, I fell I don't know how many times."

Carina had turned over the palm of Maya's hand she was holding, and her thumb had passed over an almost faded scar in her hand. She'd watched her finger run against the blonde's palm before raising her eyes to her, to ask with her gaze if it was to this evening that she owed this one. She'd noticed it before, but had never dared ask.

The captain merely nodded positively before continuing.

"I cut my hair because you liked to stroke it...

Carina, I was in a lot of pain.
I don't want you to imagine that it could happen again, okay? I hit rock the bottom that day.
I've never felt so bad in my life." She furrowed her eyebrows, knowing she'd have to get to the hardest part of confessing.

-"I know, my love" replied the Italian, caressing both her hands with her thumbs, her voice full of emotion.

-"Only four people know what I'm about to tell you... I've... I took a huge quantity of pills, thinking it would stop the pain...