Bully stepbrother

21. Sober

MADISON

There's a startling periodic vibration that zaps right into my debilitated brain, and I finally shoot up to a sitting position under the duress of the alarming object beside me.

I needed at least three good seconds to become ensnared with the presence, and when everything registered in my head, I am instantly running down the hall, with a blanket wrapped around my entire naked body.

Well, the word "running" isn't quite the right word to explain my movement; with the soreness between my legs, I'm sure you'd call the move something more of an ataxic gait.

The moment I push open the door to the bathroom, I pour out everything I possibly have left in my system into the toilet.

I tried to control the outburst, but with the awareness of what I've done, it's hard to control anything.

I didn't... I didn't give my v-card to Caden, the most horrible of all humans? But with the visions in my head, I am sure I am plunged into yet another cruel and unusual punishment.

The more I push away the images out of my head, the more additional portraits merge into my awareness, and I am mindful of what I've done.

No, I didn't kiss him; I didn't take off his shirt. I could remember licking the entire region of his chest and watching him pant with every stroke of my tongue. Fuck no! I didn't do that with my stepbrother.

My fingers plug tightly into the locks of my hair, pulling hard on each strand. I let out a deep breath with closed eyes, but the image of Caden sucking on my puckered nipples comes playing vividly like the day.

Oh my goodness!

I sit hopelessly at the bottom of the toilet with my legs stretched out in front of me.

"What have I done?" With terrified widened eyes, my stare was distant and targeted at nothing specific. In the present circumstances, I am horrid.

Those are the words I kept asking myself inside my unstable, beating heart.

I wasn't drunk; I was right attentive and conscious of the risk, yet I kissed him and didn't stop.

I let him proceed without protesting; he was drunk, but I wasn't. I gave out my virginity to the wrong person-scratch that, forbidden one-and let myself enjoy every part of it. For fucking clarity, he's my goddamn brother; we share the same last name. What have I done?

My heartbeat races fast and loud, but I manage myself out of the bathroom and through the hallway to the living area where everything happened; many pieces of evidence are lying scattered everywhere.

The disorganized throw pillows, the dress I wore yesterday and the underwear, the coffee table decoration were tossed around the room. We really got physical. The memory of Caden's chiseled naked body on top of my equally naked one while shoving his tongue into my mouth tricks with my senses, and I bite down the tears threatening to let loose.

I remember how good he felt, how perfect he was, and fuck if I ain't suffering from distinguishing between what's right and wrong.

There's a musical tone that comes from the couch I was laying on some minutes ago; for an instant, I thought it was my phone, but when my eyes fall on the black phone case, I notice it's Caden's.

I have a couple of reasons why I should panic, one of which I know I've left my phone somewhere back at the fraternity party, and two of which I'm alerted to the possibility that Caden might be in this apartment.

I swallow several times, but it doesn't help the dryness in my throat; however, it worsens when the door I've hoped stayed locked comes swinging open and exposes a fully clothed Caden. But that's not it alone because when he's fully clothed, it means he's fully sober.