𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟕

-𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐒-

Suddenly everything made a little more sense. I always wondered why Eileen was so stupid to throw away her sports career and studied economics because even though she's a star in economics, she always complained about it that it was too boring and stuff. She probably chose it because it was easy for her to succeed in it. She isn't a workaholic because she loves working but because she loves Arthur and me.

"Eli?"

"It's true..."

"What? But why Eli? Why?"

She shrugged her shoulders as I could see that her tears started welling up in my eyes just as when I listened to Pierre telling everything in an annoyed way. He just snapped that story out of his throat like he was done carrying it. Why did he even know it? It did explain all the times he got so defensive over her when I made these jokes about her throwing away her life and all. Eileen took in a shaky breath as she straightened herself. Eileen hated crying in front of other people or looking vulnerable in other people their eyes. So she did the first thing that came into her mind when she couldn't hide her emotions... she flew up the stairs and hid in her bedroom. I stared in front of me where seconds earlier Eileen was standing. I turned my face to the couch to see Arthur looked at me already.

"Did you know?"

"Only that she's my biggest sponsor... I didn't know about the fact she threw everything away for us... I feel bad about that."

"Yeah but you showed her some gratitude at least... I never did because I never knew..."

"She didn't want tell you."

Pierre his voice was soft. Barely above a whisper. He looked at me with a sad/caring frown on his face. He swallowed and took a breath before continuing.

"She said... she didn't want to look selfish by telling you because she was afraid you guys would think she was making it up for your attention. I told her she is the most selfless person I know and that you guys wouldn't think of it that way but she refused. I think that's why her work is always such a touchy subject for her to talk about."

I swallowed as I looked to my mother. She had her back turned to us as she cooked. Mama rather ignored the problem then handle it. Just like when dad died. She ignored it the first 5 days Monday till Friday. She set the table every night for the whole family only to leave my fathers seat empty every time. She would say he was probably running late until the weekend came. The first weekend without him and that was the moment it hit her. She still prefers to handle problems this way and it's the only thing I can say that is bad about my mama but it's something out of self protection and love.

"I uhm..."

I struggled to find the right words and just pointed to the stairs. I walked towards them and with every step I took up the stairs my heart became heavier heading my own twin sister cry. Her room was at the beginning of the hall. One of the first rooms to be exact. I knocked on her door softly in hope she would let me in.

"Eli...? Can I please come in...?"

"I wanna be alone a little bit..."

Her voice was soft and muffled by the wooden door that separated us but I could still make out her words. I sighed and laid my hand against the door. I sighed softly.

"Will you be alright? Do you want something?"

"Please just leave me for a little."

Even when she was crying her voice were gentle and sweet. Her words didn't sound like a harsh sentence but they sounded like words asking gently and sweetly for you to leave her and her thoughts for a little. That's what amazed me about Eli. She was always polite in a good and natural way to people she loved. I walked back down the stairs and Pierre frowned at me. He stood up but I shook my head.

"She wanted to be alone."

"I don't care I'll break the door down if I have to."

He walked up the stairs and halfway through he stopped and frowned even deeper if that was even possible. He looked at me and swallowed. He could hear her soft cries now as well. He slowly walked up and then I only heard his muffled voice. The door opening and closing after a lot of talking. She let Pierre in after more then 5 minutes of him begging probably. At least someone was in to check on her and Pierre wants what's best for her... I think it's the only reason I won't freak out about the fact that he is in love with her. I just hope Eileen comes around that she loved him too. We all see it but she won't admit it out loud yet. At least not to us. Maybe there are reasons for that too? But I'm not too sure to be honest. I haven't known my sister that well since I started in F1. It's time consuming and I don't live at home anymore... it's hard to keep in touch with everyone even if Eileen is trying so hard to get the family together once a month for mama. The more I start thinking about it the more I realize Eileen does for our family... for mama, for Arthur and for me. Lorenzo wouldn't have his job as well if it wasn't for Eileen... she dedicated her life for us. I don't know why one would do it but suddenly I felt grateful for it. Papa would have wanted us to stay one happy family and Eileen is working so hard to make it happen but I also felt so much guilt it started an aching feeling in my heart. How couldn't I have seen this before... how could I be this blind....

(1022 words)