The Lamb and the Gray Battle

September 19, 1990

In the morning, Gran woke Mary, complained that she could sleep so long.

"You ought not to be drinking. Fires your demon blood."

Mary mocked her grandmother behind her back. Her head ached. That hadn't happened in decades. The booze must have been tainted. That happened in those secret bars and distilleries. She balanced her forehead in her hands.

Gran growled at her for being slow, told her to do her chores. "They're your animals."

The dogs begged to be walked. This trio were named Egglantine, Goose and Zipper. The cats wanted to be fed. Buck was crowing in the backyard and the hens pecked at their corn.

A whole week passed and Mary learned to hide her aching heart, smiled at strangers and indulged in pastries. Letters never arrived at her door, but a young man who told her he was a postal worker handed her the envelope. It was thick and the return address said Ao Nianzang.

She hugged Ed and went into the house.

Dear Mam,

I have dreamed of this day for so long. Why didn't you write before? I have spent so many years wondering about you, asking questions about you. BoBo is the only one who tells me anything. Fuqin says BoBo is a liar and I shouldn't trust him, but at least he answers me.

If you didn't want to leave me, why did you go?

That broke Mary's heart. But when she started writing her reply, the first words she wrote were, "Why did you use regular post to reply? It takes so long for letters to go that way. It wouldn't even be hard for you to send a letter by demon spell in Wales."

She zipped the letter to him and waited. Then it dawned on her.

She started another letter.

ZangZang,

Forgive me. In your heart, find that thread, that part of you that isn't like your father, that you must sense makes you like me. Hold onto it. Focus your energy, will the letter to come to me. And I will get it. It's better if I'm alone. Sending letters by demon spell isn't illegal here, but just about everything else is.

Love,

Mam

A few minutes later, she got a note and Mary squealed and danced around. Her wings shot out of her back, but the ceilings were too low for her to fly.

Dear Mam,

If you didn't want to leave me, why did you go?

She wrote:

Because your father is cold, cruel and unfeeling. He trapped me like I was a prisoner. I had no choice. He said if I gave him a son, he'd let me go. I didn't know how hard that would be when I agreed to it.

Then:

If you hated him, why did you marry him?

And she wrote:

We were betrothed. I had no choice in the agreement. Women were commodities back then and, as far as your father was concerned, I was his property. He was more than a little disgruntled that I didn't automatically obey him.

She didn't know it, but Nianzang laughed at that. It sounded just like Fuqin to him.