His mended heart

Chapter Thirty-One : Come back to me, Tommy

Within a few days, Tommy and Rosina went on the road, with their boys. They were going on holiday according to Arthur, Rosina wouldn't call it a holiday; she would call it a death warrant for Tommy to do something very drastic to himself now he's away from business.

For Tommy's plan, the first stop was Margate for some unknown reason.

One last business route, he bluntly told Rose when she wouldn't stop asking.

Rosina insisted that she would join him, not wanting to kill himself with a bullet when no one was watching.

Rosina had tried talking to him ever since she had inherited the scar from her sister. Tommy since then had, deteriorated. His mind was triggered by the war and horrific outcomes for his family that his mind would make up.

Tommy would dose himself up on alcohol and pass out on the floor. He got up again before his wife and children would wake up, never coming to bed with his heavily pregnant wife when she needed him the most.

Kicking himself for what he had put her through only made things worse for him as she told him repeatedly that none of it was his fault. But he didn't believe her even when he tried to. The PTSD would come crashing on him at night, the nightmares especially terrorising him.

The trenches and the blood coming back to him

The gin took the hit the most as it was the uncurable sadness, he would familiarise himself with. 
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The day was here when Tommy was told in his head that the wandering Jew must go in bad blood. Tommy crept out of the covers of his and his wife's bed.

Careful not to wake her up, Tommy looked behind as his wife shifted on her back, showing the swell of her stomach. Her arms spread out, a scar on her right side, resembling that fateful night when he couldn't keep his promise.

The guilt crept inside of him for abandoning her but at the same time, the shovels kept on hitting the wall.

She wanted to come with him to be by his side. Tommy couldn't let her, the wandering Jew being armed and most of all, break his promise again.

He knew he was never good at keeping promises but  Tommy thought hard that it might have changed when he had found someone to give him strength in this cold corrupted world he had built.

Suffering a small similarity to him, the beatings mainly took a toll on them both but one was physical and the other one was mentality.

Tommy crept out of the room, the pounding headache hitting him as the lights shone on him. The easiest solution for that was to drink and make the pounding in his head last longer.

His appearance hit him dreadfully as he looked at himself in the musty mirror. The devil was inside of him. The eyes carry a lot of baggage as a result of sleep deprivation. His skin paling and the weight loss showing roughly. Not eating would be the cause of that.

Thomas shamefully looked down, but not caring as his eyes led him to the half bottle of gin hidden in the corner that the maids had forgotten to spot. He dragged himself towards the sinful occurrence and necked it down without a second thought within him.
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Rosina fluttered her eyes open as light shined on her sun-kissed skin. Rose felt cold as she looked towards the empty part of the bed.

The smell of gin on her husband's pillow immediately took over her sense of smell. She slowly got up wrapped herself around her dressing gown and wandered around looking for her husband

"Francis, have you seen my husband, anywhere?" Rose questioned

"Yes Mrs. Shelby, he left in an agitated state and said for me to tell you that he had gone shooting" Francis explained as she swept through the hardwood floors collecting any glass shards from previous nights

"What about the children?" Rosina queried

"All still asleep, Mrs Shelby"

"Would you like me to tell the chef, to cook you something?"

"No thanks, Francis"

"You sure? You are eating for two" She referenced Rosina's swollen bump

"I said I'm good, I'll eat something later" Rosina snapped

The awkward silence loomed around, as Rosina waited for her husband to return in one piece and back to her,
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Time passed, and still no sign of Tommy. Rose rocked Luke soothingly as he would not settle.

She had managed to get herself dressed and put on a bit of perfume to extinguish the gin smell that lingered around the air where she went. The fire gave her the warmth that she didn't know she needed till now.

Her bump protruded through her dress as she had now hit mid-way through the pregnancy.  She wondered if her husband would be there for her this time, or if he would soak himself in the booze that had captured Thomas.

Her thoughts were anguished when the front doors to the house burst open, awakening the baby that had been lulled to sleep minutes ago.

A very distraught Thomas Shelby staggered into the home with sand halfway up on his trousers and the smell of sea salt on his blazer.

Her husband barged past Francis causing him to growl and placed his hand on his arm. The droplets of claret made known on the floor,

"Tommy" Rose desperately called

Thomas looked up at his wife's distorted face, which grew deep in worry.

His eyes held no luscious pigment of blue, just pain and suffering. Tommy stood still but the pain struck his arm, a fault of his own. Thomas whizzed past his wife and wobbled to the room full of whiskey and blood.

He opened the door with his free hand and slammed the door hard causing an echo to form across the entire hallway shaking some pictures along the way.

No sparkle in Tommy's eyes
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Rosina ran her fingers along the dial and picked up the receiver
"Polly Shelby" Her lips towards the rings

"Rose" The Romany Queen spoke through the receiver

"Polly, It's about Tommy" The tears lined her vision

"I'm worried, there's something seriously wrong"

"Have you called a doctor"

"He refuses"

"Where is he?"

"In the house, injured"

"What do you mean injured? love"

"He's bleeding, pol" Her lips trembled as she spoke the lines through the receiver

"I'm on my way" And with that the receiver line was dead.