Oblivious

18 // Deflate inside

Aesthete
(adj.) someone with deep sensitivity to the beauty of art or nature

-Elora-

Pushing the trolly down the aisle I smile at the people walking past. Some smile back, some don't, I don't take it personally.

Grocery shopping is just so relaxing to me. It's a mundane thing, that everybody needs to do. There's just something so calming about walking down different aisles and choosing what food to buy. If I should get what I always get or try something new.

Sometimes it gets a little lonely, a little repetitive. Every Saturday I go grocery shopping. Every Saturday afternoon I'm shopping alone. It's a little sad when I think about it too long. There's nothing better for me to do. There's things I'd rather do but can't. And so I'm left grocery shopping alone.

In times like those, times when I think about life a little too long and become a little too sad I remind myself that grocery shopping is still time spent with the world. Time spent alive and breathing and it's better then nothing.

And so what if I have to do it alone? I've learned to enjoy my own company.

Stopping the trolley, one of those thin and small ones because I don't need much but don't want to carry a basket, I groan when I realise what I need is on the top shelf.

Looking up and down the aisle three times to make sure nobody's around to watch this go horribly wrong, I place one foot on the bottom aisle.

My fingers just graze the bottom of the jar when it's engulfed into another set.

A body presses up against my back, a hand grazing my waist.

I stop breathing for a second, realise there's nobody else in the aisle and begin to panic. Then a chuckle vibrates through the person behind me and I can breath again.

Spinning around I come face to face with Elijah.

He smirks down at me, one eyebrow raised as he places the jar into the trolley. The other hand is firmly planted by my head. Trapping me in.

"Hi." I can feel the edge of his whisper skim my face. I whisper back. "Hi."

His lips tilt at the corners and I gulp. His Adam apple bobs. And the hand that's next to my head twirls a bit of my hair.

He stares at me a for a moment, blinks a few times as I take the time to memorise his face.

He truly is beautiful all the way from his dark hair to the mole on his outer cheek bone. The light green eyes that seem to see all the way through me.

Elijah tugs on my hair and I focus my attention back onto what he's saying. "You've got your hair down."

He's frowning as he talks, eyebrows pinched together. I frown too, realising this is the first time he's seen me with my hair down. All the other times he's seen me it's been either in a claw clip or half up half down which is how I wear it to school, which is the only times he's seen me.

My hand instinctively reached for the claw clip clipped to the end of my jumper and I hate the way I always feel the need to change myself to suit other people.

Elijah's hand stops me. "I like it, it's..." he's trails off and clears his throat. Avoiding eye contact as he continues. "You should do it more often."

He nods his head to confirm his words, blinks at me 3 times before taking a step back and pushing the trolley.

❤︎

Elijah puts the bags into the boot of the car and waits for me to buckle in before he starts driving.

He doesn't say anything and I quietly hum to the song on the radio.

It's not raining today but it's not sunny either. It's cloudy and dark and giving new moon. I turn to Elijah, my thoughts spilling out of me before I can stop them. "Have you seen twilight?"

Elijah blinks at the windshield, taps his finger to the rhythm of the song on the wheel. "The sparkly vampire movie?"

"Mmh. Have you seen it." Elijah chuckles and turns to face me slightly. "I watched the first one with Nelly once."

"So you haven't seen new moon?" Elijah shakes his head, eyes on the road. "Which ones that?"

"The second one." Elijah shakes his head again and turns the radio down a little. "No I haven't."

Slumping down in my seat I groan dramatically, turning my head in Elijah's direction. He's got a small smile on his face, though he's not looking at me. "That's like the best one. We so have to watch it together."

Elijah places one hand on the gear stick, keeping one hand on the wheel as we stop at a red light. He lazily turn his head to face me, a teasing smile on his face. "Do we now?"

I nod my head furiously at him. Sitting up straight in my seat again now that he's looking at me. "100 percent. We could even make a day of it. Have a full movie day."

I've never spent a whole day in my pyjama's just sitting around watching films with anyone before, I've done it by myself plenty of times and I've watched films with my mum but never a full day. Sort of like a sleepover but through out the day and I've always wanted to do it.

To just sit with someone and do something chill and mundane and have fun. And there not be any expectations because we're just sitting in our pyjamas.

Elijah turns back to the road when the light turns green. I deflate inside a little when he doesn't agree.

I don't bring it back up, moving onto another topic swiftly to ignore the rejection flooding through me.

❤︎

Elijah's helped me put the shopping away and now he's standing on the other side of the kitchen island staring at me.

I don't know what to do or say. I want to ask him to stay but don't want to come off as annoying and clingy and bombarding.

"Do you wanna hang out?" It's whispered and I barley even hear it.

When my head turns to face Elijah he's not looking at me instead down at the counter top as he traces the pattern with his fingertip.

Rounding the table I grab his hand and practically drag him to my room. "I'm so glad you asked."

Once we make it to my room I plop into my desk chair, wish it was a spiny one, look out the window, look back to Elijah who's standing in my door way, look back out the window, judge the weather, decide what to do.

Elijah's still standing in my door way when I grab his hand again and drag him back downstairs and outside.

"Where are we going?" Elijah reluctantly follows along behind me as I lead the way down my street. "On an adventure."

~