Oblivious

23 // Sort of like a caterpillar

Koi no yokan
(n.) (phr.) the sense that one has upon meeting another person that they will fall in love

-Elora-

I spot Elijah almost instantly.

He's standing against his car, phone in hand as he types. He seems to sense my stare and looks up at me, pocketing his phone as he stands a little straighter.

He gives me a small sort of half smile as I wave.

I say goodbye to the girls. Making plans to get ready with them on Saturday.

I like them. I think they like me too otherwise they wouldn't have offered to get ready with me right?

I practically skip, without actually skipping, to Elijah. There's a strange feeling in my stomach. Not exactly butterflies but the beginning stages, it feels as though with enough time, in the right conditions it could turn into butterflies. Sort of like a caterpillar I suppose.

Obviously there's not actually a caterpillar in my stomach. But it's the best way I know how to describe it.

Stopping in front of Elijah I refuse to look him in the eyes, my cheeks heating. He rubs the back of his neck with his right hand.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Still refusing to look at him Elijah clears his throat and opens the passenger door for me.

I smile, buckling in as Elijah walks around the car to the drivers side.

He opened the door for me. He's never done that before. Does that mean something?

I'm definitely overthinking this. Probably still hung up on the thought that he could like me.

Do I like him?

Elijah starts the car, turning the radio on, it automatically plays the station that I always turn to whenever I'm in Elijah's car.

Elijah reverses out his parking space, placing one hand on the wheel and the other on the top of my seat. I avoid looking at him, my cheeks heating for unknown reasons.

"Were they nice?"

Elijah doesn't look at me, keeps his eyes on the road ahead of him, tapping his fingers to the rhythm of the song on the wheel.

Placing the top part of the seat belt behind me so I'm left with only the bottom part around my waist I turn fully in his direction. Curling my feet under me as I lean back against the passenger side door.

Elijah narrows his eyes at the road and I realise I've put my feet up, on his seat, in his car. My cheeks heat again, out of embarrassment and I mumble a sorry before beginning to place them back down.

Elijah stops me. Placing one hand on my legs he hold them still, taps them 3 times before returning his hand back to the wheel.

I take that as an okay.

"Extremely, Marla said I was pretty and Danny even complemented my jumper." Elijah's lips twitch and I move my hands around furiously as I explain the events of the day. "It was so much fun. You know I think we went into like 20 different shops, my feet are a little sore. But it was worth it. I even found a bikini I like. I wasn't sure I would find one but I did and I like it. At first I didn't but then Marla convinced me I look pretty in it and Danny said she wouldn't let me leave without it so."

Releasing a breath I mutter a small sorry for rambling.

Elijah's fully smiling now, he seems a little lighter. I'm smiling too, I feel happy.

"I'm glad you had fun Daze."

My face falls.

I stop admiring his side profile and instead keep my eyes firmly planted on my legs.

Daze?

Has he forgotten my name? Does he think I'm someone else? He is really bad with names but he's always seemed to remember mine before.

I don't feel so happy anymore. My eyes burn.

"You okay Daze?" Elijah turns to face me, a worried sort of expression on his face though I don't meet his eyes.

"Um, you know my names Elora right?" My voice is small and I feel weak and heavy.

Elijah furrows his brows, slowing the car at a red light. "I know your name Elora."

He's frowning and I feel like I've messed up again. He was smiling a moment ago maybe I should've just left it alone. Ignored it.

Brining my knees up I wrap my arms around them. Around myself. "Then why are you calling me daze?"

Elijah turns to face, blinks 3 times, his frown disappearing.

Then he's throwing his head back and laughing. A full laugh. I wish I could pocket the sound, just so I could find it again later and make sure it really exists.

He looks pretty when he laughs. Prettier then he normally is. His mouth is wide, his face no longer drawn and pinched together. His eyes crinkle at the corners and he looks happy.

Genuinely and fully happy. I wish he didn't often look so sad.

He deserves to be happy, even when he can't remember my name.

He stops laughing eventually, doesn't stop smiling though. "Daisy is your middle name right? Daze is short for Daisy. It's a nickname Elora."

"Oh."

I feel happy again. Happier. It's stupid that my mood is so easily effected.

Maybe that makes me a weak person. A person so easily influenced and manipulated.

It doesn't really matter right now. Not when I feel so light and Elijah's smiling at me like I'm the sun.

He's smiling and I'm smiling and maybe this is what it feels like to like someone.

To have your mood depend on how they treat you. To get caterpillars, maybe even sometimes butterflies around them. To want them to smile and laugh even if it's at your expense.

I think I do like Elijah.

~