Oblivious

39 // Space

Thantophobia
(n.) the phobia of losing someone you love

-Elijah-

2 weeks.

14 days.

336 hours.

1,209,600 seconds.

Since I last talked to Elora.

My daze.

I've seen her practically everyday. Sat next to her in English. Sat a table away at lunch. Sat 3 rows behind her in maths.

But I haven't talked to her.

Not since that Monday night when she said she couldn't forgive me and I begged anyways.

I begged on my knees and she denied me. Told me she needed space. And as much as it teared me apart, ripped away at my flesh, I'm so fucking proud of her for standing her ground.

For not relenting and giving in because she deserves better.

So much better.

I want to be better for her.

Which is why I'm giving her the space she asked for. No matter how much it digs at my insides to do so.

My head turns at the laugh I've grown familiar with.

Daze is standing at her locker, head back and laughing. Blondie and blue standing next to her.

She looks beautiful. Effortlessly pretty. Which shouldn't surprise me anymore, but it still manages to knock the wind out of me.

My heart slams against my rib cage and I have to turn away before I do something stupid.

Like talk to her.

Her laughter pauses suddenly and I'm turning around automatically. Missing the sound.

She's staring right at me, head slightly tilted, tickets in hand.

2 tickets to the art museum on Saturday.

She's not really that into art but I figured if she wanted to try being a painter like she said she did she should have some inspiration or something.

There's also a schedule for the baking class I signed her up for stuffed into her locker but I don't think she's found that yet.

We're not talking right now. But she still deserves to get everything she's wants and more. And I'm going to try and give it to her.

❤︎

"You quit hockey?" Hands are at my chest and I don't think I've ever liked the feeling of being pushed more than this moment.

Elora glares up at me, I grin down at her. The world stops and slows and everything feels right again. Because she's standing in front of me, talking to me and it's so much better than going through life without her.

She pushes me again when I don't answer and my hands are already up and holding hers against me.

My skin tingles even from under the shirt. Just the slightest touch of hers has me spiralling and grinning like a fool in love.

"Elijah."

"Yeah." My smile doesn't dim even when she narrows her eyes further. Did I mention how pretty she looks mad? Because it shouldn't be possible for a person to look this beautiful.

"You quit hockey?" It comes out softer than the last time. Hits me right in the chest and has my heart squeezing against my ribs. "Yeah."

"Why?"