the once and future two

love and war

MERLIN'S P.O.V

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"I know what im doing is really stupid, but it is what i have to do." "i understand Merlin, i just think it is stupid" "I know you think it is stupid, but if i can save everyone in Camelot, then i have to try. even if it means losing my life." Lancelot and i have been talking about what i have to do for a while now, he doesn't want me to do this. He doesn't care how many people die, he just wants me too live.

"i have to go Lancelot, Arthur is making me go to a meeting about the war, and im sure you are going as well" i said getting up from my seat in his room. "alright, but we are not done talking" he said opening the door for me and himself. "i know" i said walking in front of him to the throne room.

***

it was the middle of the meeting when Arthur really started to talk about when the attack would come and when Camelot was going to ride to meet Morgana half way. during the whole meeting Lancelot kept stealing glances at me, probably wanting to tell me to not do this.

He just doesn't understand how important this is. without me doing this, Percival will die and so will Leon, and i cant let that happen. I wont let that happen. If dying means saving my friends life's, then i shall die.

"we leave tomorrow at first light, make sure all the knights know. tomorrow is the start of war" Arthur said before walking out, I of course followed him.

"will you need me to do anything else today Arthur?" i asked once we were in his room. "yes, i do need you" He said turning to me, "you have been acting weird lately and i want to know why" "i am completely normal" i said acting as if i was my usual self, which i wasn't. "no your lying to me Merlin, and i wont tolerate that. now tell me" he growled.

if he wont stop until he knows the truth, then i shall lie again. "fine, i am just worried about the war, that's all. i have a-a bad feeling about it." i said smiling thinly at Arthur, he only rolled his eyes and went behind his screen. "see that wasn't to hard now was it?" he asked from behind his screen. "no it wasn't" i said walking over to the screen. "now hand me my shirt"

***

I couldn't sleep at all that night. i knew in the morning what was about to happen to me, and i was afraid. no, that was an understatement, i was terrified. i did not want to die, but i had no choice. i could not let my friends die just because i was scared. i was pretty sure that Gaius knew what i was going to do, he seems emotional.

i felt bad for leaving him. i was the closest thing to a son he ever had, and he was the closet thing to a father for me. It was going to be hard. i would never really say it out loud but i loved him just as i would love my real father. And leaving him for a war was not fair.

But nothings fair in love and war.

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A/N: hey guys!

see what i did with the last sentences? im so funny.