Embracing the Burning Passion

22: Doubt

Ilang minuto na akong gising pero hindi pa rin ako bumabangon. Nakahilata pa rin ako sa kama ni Blake habang tahimik na nakatitig sa kisame. His all-white room is spacious enough to have a pair of sofa, a study table, a bathroom, a walk-in closet, and a king-sized bed. May maliit na shelf din siya sa tabi ng kan'yang kama na puno ng librong hindi ko alam ang title.

Nawala lang ang atensyon ko sa kisame nang biglang bumukas ang pinto at pumasok si Blake na medyo magulo ang buhok at may dumi ang damit. Ngumiti siya siya nang makita ako.

“It's almost 6 in the evening. Early dinner?” he asked.

I stared at him, and the urge to tell him everything came like a wild wave. Nawala ang ngiti niya nang hindi ako sumagot at agad na lumapit sa akin.

“Amara? Are you okay?” may pag-aalala niyang tanong.

Mariin akong napapikit nang haplusin niya ang pisngi ko. Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti sa gaan ng kamay niya.

“Blake...”

“Hmm?”

Nagmulat ako ng mata at tinitigan siya. “I think someone close to me is a traitor.”

“What do you mean, Amara? A traitor? Why?”

Umupo akong nakaharap sa kan'ya.

“I have a secret... Only a few knows about it. My family, Jacques, and his Beta. Hindi pwedeng si Jacques dahil halos alam ko ang lakad niya. I trust Jack so much. We grew up together. He's like a brother to me...” Huminga ako nang malalim. “Pero hindi ko gusto kung saan pumupunta ang isipan ko. I'm doubting him. I'm doubting the years we've shared. He's now an Alpha, and there no denying about the fact that we grew a little space from each other when he started to lead his pack. What if he changed? What if his principles changed? What if our relationship changed downhill for him?”

“Amara, Amara. Look at me. Baby, look at me.” He held my hand tightly that made me stop mumbling and eventually looked at him. “I don't know him too well but by the way he cares for you, he can't probably betray you for power. Probably. For now, it's better we talk to him in person. You know him, you'll get through him immediately when he tells a lie.”

“But—”

“We'll reach out to him, okay? We'll do this together,” he said softly.

Tumango ako. “Pero ang pamilya ko... Hindi rin naman siguro ako ipapahamak ng pamilya ko... Mom and Dad loves me so much. I am my brother's princess. We're all close-knit. Imposibleng sila ang tumatraydor sa akin.”

“And Jacques' beta?” kuryuso niyang tanong.

“I am somehow close to Solace. Maraming beses kaming magkasamang mag-train dahil pareho kaming babae. She's a close friend to me, Blake. Pero kasi... sa lahat ng nakaaalam, siya lang ang masasabi kong pwedeng tumiwalag.”

I feel bad for accusing her. She's my friend. Pero wala akong ibang maituro! Sila lang naman ang nakaaalam tungkol sa binigay sa akin ng Moon Goddess. Sila lang ang sinabihan ko. Malaki ang tiwala ko kay Solace pero...

Napahilamos ako ng mukha gamit ang aking kamay. This is so confusing! I can't just accuse someone without any evidence!

“You have the right to doubt anyone, Amara. Iilan lang silang nakaaalam sa sikreto mo kaya maaaring nasa kanila nga ang traydor. Pero maaaring iba rin ang may kasalanan. Baka may napagsabihan sila o may nakarinig sa pag-uusap niyo na nagkainteres sa sikreto mo,” malumanay niyang aniya.

Napatango ako. Tama siya. Baka wala sa kanila. Hindi pwedeng sa kanila ko lang ituon ang pansin ko. Maaaring iba nga ang may kasalanan.

“We have to know who they are before it's too late,” saad ko.