The May Irwin Kiss [Tayvis Fanfiction]

For Keeps

Two Weeks Later
November 13th; 2023
Taylor Swift's Point of View
Doctors' office lighting is always the worst. Those weird white fluorescent poles that blind you and always make a weird flicker sound in horror movies. I feel like I'm in a horror movie right now. I bet any minute now the lights are going to flicker. I'm wearing a gown while I lay down awkwardly on the exam table. This entire experience has been embarrassing for me. I'm throwing up every day and having weird emotional breakdowns. Travis has been kind enough to hold back my hair and try to not take the petty arguments with him personally. Hormones haven't been gentle with me. He's been good to me through this and I love him for that. I barely know him but there's something to him that I've never felt before. There has been some weird tension since I told him. I imagine it'll all be over soon. Part of me is hoping for a false positive and the ultrasound will show nothing but I think we're long past that point.

I'm not sure why doctors always knock on the door before they walk in but they do and so did the ultrasound technician. She walked up to me and shook my hand. "I'm Doctor Cooper. I'll be performing your ultrasound if you could put your legs up. I'm going to insert this transducer and it might be a bit uncomfortable."

I look at this transducer and I swear to god we're just starting how we got here in the first place. Sticking long hard things up my vagina. "Dear god, I hate my life," I mutter to myself as she inserts the probe. Travis decides to temporarily stop the tension and holds my hand. It gives me comfort and I feel like I can breathe. Travis can recognize my fear and when I need help.

The doctor begins to point to different parts on the screen. My uterus, the placenta, the gestational sac but, nothing would match when she showed me the baby. "That small dot right there. That's your baby. Congratulations, you're pregnant."

"Oh my god." The peanut-like dot. It's an actual baby and it's my baby. I'm pregnant. I've known for a bit now but for me to see what I've been given. The life I have in me. Interestingly, I now feel relieved.

"They look perfectly healthy. You seem to be nine weeks along."

I look at Travis to try and get a glimpse of what he may be feeling. I think it all caught up to him at that moment because this man looked terrified.

"Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"

I look back at the screen, seeing the little dot. How can something so small mean the entire world? "Yes." I grin brightly as loud wooshes and thumps play. It all stopped mattering to me at that moment. I felt tears running down my face but in a good way. I was happy. It's been a long time since I've felt truly happy. I wasn't sure what I wanted but I know now. "Travis, you don't have to stay but I'm keeping this baby. I have to. It's what I want." I look over at Travis who is still holding my hand.

"I'm not going anywhere. Okay?"

"Okay." I nod with tears still built up in my eyes. I was so concerned about my career that I guess I didn't ever think about what else life had to offer. I'm not saying every woman has to be a mother but my whole life I've been working. I think it's time I add something more. At least out of all the one-night stands to get me pregnant, it was Travis. I've never met a man with a more gentle heart.
I continue to look at the screen in awe and wonder. Thrill and joy fill my heart. Some indescribable unconditional love. There's one other feeling that flows through my veins that I'm not sure how to shake. "Travis, are you as scared as I am?" I ask.

"Taylor, I couldn't be more terrified." The two of us laugh nervously as fear infects us. Truthfully, we have no idea what we're doing.

The doctor stops the ultrasound and removes the transducer. "I'll be right back with some photos for you guys. You're welcome to change back into your clothes."