The May Irwin Kiss [Tayvis Fanfiction]

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Three Weeks Later
June 27th; 2027
Taylor Swift's Point of View
I know this feeling, this hollow ache. It's like a part of me has been carved out, leaving an empty, echoing space where something vital used to reside. A part of me wants to shatter into a million pieces, to disappear into the swirling nothingness, to never feel this pain again. To simply cease to exist.

But then I look Lydia, my tiny, eight-month-old. She's just beginning to figure out how to move, her chubby fingers grasping at anything within reach. Cameron, who just learned to count to 10. And Vivi, my wild, three-year-old, who just conquered potty training. They're all so small, so dependent. Their eyes search for me, trust me implicitly. I am their whole world.

It was just a cat. A soft purr, a comforting presence. Nothing compared to the loss of a human life. Still, this absence feels like a physical wound. It's as if a piece of me has been ripped away, leaving a raw, exposed part of my soul.

I force a smile as Vivi toddles over, her tiny hands outstretched. She wants to be picked up, her laughter a bright, sharp contrast to the darkness inside me. I lift her, her warm body pressing against mine. I inhale the sweet baby powder scent of her hair, trying to ground myself in this moment, this tangible love.

But the emptiness lingers. It's a heavy fog, obscuring everything with its grayness. I'm going through the motions, a hollow shell of myself. Cooking, cleaning, playing. Each task feels like wading through thick mud, every step an effort.

I miss Meredith. Her soft purr, her gentle weight curled at my feet. The house feels quieter, emptier. A part of my daily rhythm is missing, and the silence echoes with her absence. I find myself staring at the empty space by the couch, imagining her there, her green eyes watching me.

Vi kept asking about Meredith. She adored that cat. Of our three, Meredith was her absolute favorite. I'd been there, holding her trembling little body when we had to let Meredith go. But the concept of death was still utterly foreign to her. I tried and tried to explain it, using simple words, gentle tones, but it was like talking to a brick wall. Her tiny mind couldn't grasp the finality of it all.

Then, one day, she asked Cameron. My heart shattered into a million pieces. With a simple sentence, he managed to provide the closure I'd been desperately searching for. He told her Meredith was with his mom, and that was it. She never asked about Meredith again.

Travis and I haven't talked about the elopement. We were so close, ready to say "I do," and then... nothing. Now, here we are, in this weird limbo. I'm lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, debating whether to just rip off the Band-Aid and finally talk about it.

He climbs into bed beside me, letting out a heavy sigh. I watch him, trying to find the courage to start the conversation. "Travis-" I begin, but he cuts me off.

Before I can finish, he interrupts, his voice laced with frustration, "Are we going to talk about the elopement, or what? It's driving me crazy, Taylor."

Relief washes over me, a warm wave that pushes away the anxiety. "Thank god," I exhale, my voice filled with a mixture of relief and exhaustion. "I didn't know how to bring it up."

He chuckles, a nervous sound that hangs in the air for a moment before he continues, "Me neither. It's like a big, ugly elephant in the room."

I nod, my eyes meeting his. "Okay, let's do this. First things first, I love you. I still want to marry you." My voice is steady, but my heart is pounding.

He mirrors my intensity, his gaze unwavering. "I love you too, and I definitely want to marry you."

A small smile creeps onto my face. "Okay, we've got that out of the way."