Life Rolls On

chapter nine

I look at my phone to check the time.

2:14 A.M.

I groan, laying back down on the dock. The waves crash into the dock, and I close my eyes.

"Good joke right? Us?"

I can't stop thinking. My brain is going a million miles per hour, I have had the most dramatic 2 days, and embarrassment is coursing through my veins every single time I think about it.

I know the real reason. The reason why my emotions are so haywire, the reason I've been so quick to get mad, the reason I've cried more in the last few days than I have in the last year.

It's Charlie. He's everything. Literally everything to me. Every single thought, every single beat of my heart, it's all screaming his name. Not talking to him is torture, but I don't know to pretend like I'm not in love with him anymore.

This feeling, it's consuming. It eats me alive. It's not a silly little crush I know how to hide anymore. Every little piece of me just strives to grab his face and kiss the shit out of him and beg him to love me back.

To finally make him mine.

"Lavender?" A deep voice calls behind me.

Please no. Anybody but him, not right now.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, not moving or opening my eyes.

He lays next to me, and there's that feeling. I swear my heart isn't in my chest anymore.

It belongs to him now.

"Porters crashing because he's drunk and can't go home." He snorts. It takes everything in me to hold my thoughts inside.

Please leave Charlie.

"Of course he is." I say lamely. It starts to rain, just refreshing little sprinkles.

"Let's go inside, why are you still awake?" I hear him sit up.

I stubbornly keep my eyes closed. "I'm good, you go in."

"I'm not leaving you out here alone," I can almost hear him roll his eyes.

"No please, just go. I'm good, I swear. I've been alone for hours,"

"I don't like that," His tone lowers.

"Okay?" I answer sarcastically.

I guess the only way I can not scream that I'm in love with his is to be mean.

Totally healthy, good going.

"What's your fucking problem lately Lav, I don't understand you anymore." I open my eyes at his
outburst. His words are dripping with annoyance, but there's concern in his eyes.

I'm in love with you dumbass.

"Seriously, just go," I dismiss him, sitting up.

It's raining harder now, his face hard as he looks at me. "I'm not leaving."

I sigh, standing up. He follows, looking relieved. He shouldn't be. He wants to be stubborn, I can play that game much better.

"I'm gonna go for a run." I tell him, beginning to walk away. His eyes widen, then narrow, his eyebrows furrowing.

"It's 2 in the fucking morning Lav, just come inside bro," He begins to get exasperated.

Bro. He thinks I'm his bro. How funny. Good joke, huh.

"No, bro, just leave me alone." I sneer.

"What happened to my Lavvy Rose?" He asks sadly.

The nickname unlocks an ache in my heart, pulsating through my entire body. How dare he?