Life Rolls On

chapten ten

Oliver's POV

I look at the 28 messages that I've sent her. Read 1 day ago.

I wish I told her about Kendall. That one day stupid summer fling that meant nothing to me but meant everything to us.

I wish I could've explained it to her, but Charlie had to go and ruin everything.

Fucking piece of shit. He's always wanted her. Always waiting on the sidelines, waiting for me to fail.

That's why I kissed Kendall that day on the beach. I was full of so many insecurities, and I had seen the way Lav looked at Charlie.

Her eyes were full of love and adoration in a way she's never looked at me. She was always easy to read, at least for me. I tried to ignore her longing glances because I knew she didn't want to feel the way she did, but at some point I guess I snapped.

I just wanted to feel like a first choice again.

I know what I did was wrong, and I know I hurt her. But that love I felt for her, it was so real, and it was so strong. It was all consuming, a type of love that was too real for a teenager to feel.

I guess I was waiting for her to tell me that she finally hooked up with him, and I didn't want to be alone.

It's always been my biggest fear, being alone. I was so afraid of the possibility, I didn't let myself trust her.

People should love, but not fall in love. Things that fall get broken.

After she broke up with me, spewing reasons that I knew she made up instead of telling me she was in love with him, I left.

Applied to a school in New York, and I was gone eight days later.

She wanted to be friends, but I couldn't be just that. Not with her. I couldn't just shake this feeling off, because now this love was clinging to a physical pain that actually made my chest ache.

When I got to New York, I slept around. It was easy, and I thought it would help me get over her.

Nothing could get me over her. There was no one that could ever compare to her, no one who could even come close.

I decided to come back home for the summer. I was going to make her mine.

Charlie, of course, had to get his dumbass in the way.

Fucking hate that kid.

I knew she loved him, but I could be second to him. If it means I can have her, if it means I can hold her and make memories with her and even do so much as speak to her, I could make that sacrifice.

I just needed her to talk to me.

My phone dings, and my heart jumps as I see who it is.

It's Lav.

Cherry: Olly, I love Charlie. If you really want me to be happy, please just leave me alone.

That familiar ache comes back, but also with some hope.

If she needs me to not speak to her to be happy with him, she still feels something for me.

And that was enough for me.

She will be mine, whatever it takes.