IL PREDESTINATO | Charles Leclerc |

Chapter 31

Christina's POV

Coming back into their lives was a terrible idea. Returning to the paddock was a terrible idea. I knew that well.

I was stupid to return. Stupid and selfish.

But I really needed to see them, all of them. Especially him. I had missed every single one of them. I missed everything, from mine and Pierre's fights to Lando's stupid jokes.

I was running out of time, and for once in my life, I wanted to act selfishly.

My heart started beating hard against my chest as I saw him standing right in front of me. He was interacting with his fans. That beautiful smile on his lips he got each time someone asked him to sign something or have a picture with him was still there. But the spark in his eyes... it was missing, and that was heartbreaking.

Anxiety filled me as the fans saw me and started yelling my name. I approached them and interacted with them as well, trying to ignore the burning feeling on my head that his gaze caused.

I knew that returning to the paddock meant to face him again, but so soon? I had just stepped my foot inside. Could fate be on my side for once?

When the girl asked us if she could have a photo with both of us, I froze. I wanted to run away again. I always did that, and it frustrated me at times. My life was about to end, and I was still unable to deal with my feelings like a mature person.

The fan knew that none of us would deny her the picture, so I suppose she did it on purpose to bring us closer. I hated when they did that, when they tried to fix us. Most of them were genuine and were trying to help us, and that was why I wasn't mad at them for trying. But some things just had to stay the way they were. They loved us together, and I loved us together. But it was over, and we all had to accept it.

We moved closer so we could both fit to the frame. I brought my arms behind my back so I wouldn't touch him by accident. If I did that, I would break down right there and then. I felt him coming even closer, and our bodies touched softly.

My breath hitched, and my heart skipped a bit. I tried not to show it, but the look on my face made evident how much just his presence affected me, how he affected me.

A part of me wanted to take his hand and take him away from the crowds. I wanted to explain every little thing to him. I wanted him to know why I did what I did with the hope that he would understand.

But he had trusted his feelings about losing a loved one to me. His own mother had explained to me how lost he felt after he lost Jules, his father, and then Antoine. Life had been cruel to him, and I didn't want to cause any more pain to him.

He didn't deserve it.

If I had decided to tell him the truth back when I discovered it, maybe things would be easier right now. But I didn't. I don't think I could ever handle seeing him falling apart and me being the reason why. That was probably another selfish decision I had made over the last months.

Making him hate me, however, was the easiest way out. Yes, I had to go through all of this alone, but it wasn't something I wasn't used to. It was better having him hate me than making him suffer by my side all these months. Because I was certain that if he knew the truth, he wouldn't leave me for a single moment. He would do everything to keep me with him.

As I looked at the screen of the phone, my thoughts were confirmed. Charles was looking at me, not the camera. And I was foolish enough to turn and look at him as well.

My eyes met his beautiful green ones, and I felt my knees going weak. It had been so long, and I had forgotten how mesmerizing his look was. I stared at him, and I didn't want to look away, ever. I wanted to memorize every little detail of his face. It was like my weakness had walked right out of me, having the look of an angel with brown hair and green eyes.