We Can't Go Back

Stay Safe

Waking up in the morning is hard but nothing like they weren't used to. He's been on many missions and though she never stopped worrying, it has become a routine.

She walks him and Steve out to the loading bay and gives Steve a hug and words of luck. He kisses the top of her head before leaving to help load up and give her and Bucky some time to say goodbye in private.

"Stay safe, Jaime. I'll be awfully cross with you if you come back to me in any less than perfect condition," she says through narrowed eyes made less intimidating by the small smile on her face.

He laughs and pulls her closer while looking down at her. There's whoops and cat calls from the men on the dock but they ignore them all.

"When I get back, I want to spend a full day in bed," he says.

"And shirk your responsibilities on Steve?" She teases.

"He's strong enough to carry my slack now and then," Bucky says unashamed.

She slaps his chest but he sees the amusement in her eyes. He cups her face in his hands and kisses her through their smiles.

"I'll see you when I get back," he says.

"You better," she says before he kisses her again.

He finally pulls back and gets a good look at her. He isn't stupid and every mission has its risks so he spends some time to memorize her.

"I love you, Ellie," he says.

"Love you, Jaime. Stay safe," she says.

"Always am."

He leaves her but not before turning around one last time to see her staring at his retreating form. He winks and she rolls her eyes and laughs.

There. Another image he gets to memorize.

He meets up with Steve who is already in the caravan. Steve gives him a pitying look. He knows it's hard enough for him to stay goodbye to Lizzie but it's probably a lot harder for him. However, he knows that Bucky will come home regardless because Steve will make sure he does. Still, it's really hard to constantly have to say goodbye not knowing what's to come.

"I should apologize-"

"No need," Bucky says.

"I said some horrible things," Steve says.

"Yeah but I did some horrible things. Plus, you were scared and were lashing out. I understand why you said what you said. I really should apologize to you though because I took away your connection to Lizzie," Bucky says.

That is one of the hardest things of it all. Steve feels so empty without it. It feels like half of him died and he is having trouble adjusting to the lack of her presence. He wonders if this is how other twins feel and he just got used to the feeling or if part of him really did die when they disconnected.

"Nothing to do about it now unless Lizzie or Howard figures something out," Steve says with a shrug.

He can tell that Steve no longer wants to talk about it. He's sure that Lizzie and him already talked through this enough as it was.

They drive for hours and Bucky knows that they will be hunkered down for awhile waiting for the train. He tries to take a nap but is too amped up. Getting Zola could be a huge step in ending this war and going home.

When they get to the lookout, they begin unpacking their gear and preparing themselves for the train that could come at any moment. Bucky rubs his hands together to try to get some heat in them.

"Holy shit, it's cold," Bucky says.

Steve looks at him in disapproval but says nothing. He's given up on trying to correct Bucky's dirty language and the army has even made it worse. Bucky and Steve stand next to each other as they look at the zip line that just got set up.

"Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?" Bucky asks.

"Yeah, and I threw up?" Steve asks.

He remembers puking and then Lizzie yelling at him for being stupid enough to listen to Bucky.

"This isn't payback, is it?" Bucky asks.

Steve looks up at the zip line that they are all expected to go across with a small smile.

"Now why would I do that?" Steve says.

That joke and smile and they know all is forgiven between them. They are brothers and everything mostly turned out okay in the end. Sure, Steve lost his connection to Lizzie but he would have lost it anyways if she died. They've been best friends for fifteen years and it would take a lot more than a broken promise and some angry words to break that up.

Their reminiscing is interrupted by an announcement by Jones.

"We were right, Dr. Zola's on the train. A Hydra dispatcher gave him permission to open up the throttle. Wherever he's going they must need him bad," Jones says.

The group of them don't say anything but just prepare their equipment for the attack.

"Let's get going because they're moving like the devil," Falsworth says.

Steve prepares to make the jump on the zip line.

"We only got about a 10 second window. You miss that window, we're bugs on a windshield," Steve says.

"Mind the gap," Falsworth says.

"Better get moving, bugs!" Dugan says.

Steve then jumps off the ledge followed quickly by Bucky.

They all manage to land on the top and begin moving towards the front of the train. Steve climbs down a side ladder and into a compartment with Bucky right behind him.

They both approach with caution with their weapons drawn. Steve walks ahead of Bucky but then suddenly two doors slide close, separating the pair. They each run to the doors to try to stop it but they're too late.

Suddenly, enemies appear behind both of them and they take cover. Their enemies are using the advanced weapons that hydra has designed.

Steve manages to take down his assailant first and blasts the door open so he can go help Bucky. He knows he has a mission, but Bucky will always come first.

Bucky is still taking fire and Steve sees through the window of the second door that Bucky just ran out of bullets.

Steve opens the door and throws Bucky a gun as he charges.

Steve pushes a large crate that the man is hiding behind aside and Bucky shoots him.

"I had him on the ropes," Bucky says.

"I know you did," Steve replies.

They hear a charging sound behind them and Steve turns to see that the man who he took down earlier has recovered and was aiming the weapon at them again.

"Get down!" Steve yells.

He holds up his shield to deflect the shot and it ricochets off and blasts open the side of the train.

Bucky picks up Steve's dropped shield and begins returning fire at the man.

He shoots and hits the shield again, knocking Bucky out of the hole in the train. Steve picks his shield back up and throws it at the man, effectively disabling him and runs towards the side of the train.

"Bucky!" Steve yells.

He can see Bucky hanging off the side of the train on a small beam.

Bucky is out of reach but Steve has to get to him. There is no other option.

He begins to climb the outside in order to get closer.

"Hang on!" Steve yells.

Bucky begins to climb closer to Steve but the beam begins to break off.

"No!" Steve yells.

The beam breaks off completely and Bucky is sent plummeting to the ground.

Bucky's last thoughts before he hits the snowy banks was of Ellie. He conjures an image of her on their wedding day.

She was so beauti-