We Can't Go Back

Holy Shit, She's Your Sister

6 MONTHS LATER

Lizzie has been working in Tony's lab since almost the moment she came back to the tower. It wasn't what she thought she'd be doing with her life but it kept her busy. She was working in his biotech department in development. Not to brag, but she was pretty good at it.

He paid her a salary which she thought was unnecessary as he was providing her free room and board but he insisted. They never discussed salary, she just knew he put money in an account each month that she hadn't even looked at. What would she even use that money for? She is so lost in her work that she didn't even hear the doors to the lab open.

"I'm surprised you didn't come up when we went online. You helped with the design for the tower's clean energy initiative," Pepper says.

"I just checked Tony's math," she says.

She really likes Pepper, don't get her wrong, but sometimes it's hard to be around her. She has tried so hard to make her comfortable but Lizzie just doesn't want to get close to anyone else. She's lost too much to develop anymore deep ties. Her and Tony's relationship was perfect. They both worked silently on their separate projects and only talked when they wanted the other's input. They were both work obsessed insomniacs so they never got on each others case about over working. Sure, they cared about each other in a distant sort of way but they didn't have an attachment.

Pepper wants to make her comfortable and be her friend. She cares if her or Tony pass out from exhaustion or forget a few meals. It's sweet but it pulls her away from her distractions and her distractions are the only way she's surviving. Is it healthy? Absolutely not. Is it necessary to her sanity? More than anything.

"SHIELD brought him some files. He could probably use your help if you need a break," Pepper says.

Lizzie nods but continues her work. She just has a couple more connections to finish sauntering.

"Or you could come with me to D.C.? Don't you have a few friends there?" She asks.

She stiffens at the memory of her last trip to D.C. She still hasn't quite recovered from her encounter with Peggy. She contacted Sam once a few months back when she was really low. He is a good person to talk to and let's be honest, he kinda reminds her of Steve. They would have been good friends if they had all lived in the same time. Still, she didn't call him again no matter how much she wanted to. It went against her no attachment rule. He's texted her a few times to check up on her but she only responds that she's good. She wishes she could be a good friend to Sam but she just can't afford it.

"I have too much to do here," she says.

Pepper sighs and she knows she's disappointed her. That's why it was hard to be around Pepper because she constantly felt guilty. They would have been good friends if they had met in 1945. They would have been good friends if she wasn't so broken. If she was the girl she was, they would have gotten along really well.

However, she wasn't that girl anymore. She was a woman who loved hard and lost it all. She lives because she knows they would have wanted her to. They probably would be disappointed in her if they could see her now but they left her so they don't get to have opinions on her coping mechanisms.

"At least go up and help Tony. You've been in here all day and he really could use the assistance," Pepper says.

"I will," Lizzie acquiesces.