Teach Me

Choices

WARNING- Mention of suicide

Cate stayed over that night. They didn't do anything, they just held each other. They talked all night long. Every now and then Y/N or Cate would steal a kiss but other than that... nothing! It was just talking, getting to know one another. It was intimate and it was real.

Y/N woke up to a knock on her door. She opened her eyes, confused and sleep deprived. Then she heard the knock again. "You up yet?" Yolanda asked, behind the door. "Uh... just a second!"
Y/N panicked for a moment. Cate. She was next to her. This wasn't how she wanted her mom to find out about them or about her being gay.

Nothing happened but of course it looked like it. Cate snuck into her window for gods sake. Try explaining that to your mom. It doesn't matter how old you are, you always still have to explain yourself to your mom.

"I'll be down in a moment" Y/N tried to get her to go away. "I'm just going to come in..." Yolanda said opening the door. Y/N quickly covered Cate up with the blanket, sitting in front of her. She didn't even know if Cate was awake yet.

"I just wanted to apologize..." Yolanda wouldn't look at her, thankfully. If she did, she'd see the guilt and panic written all over her face. "It's okay mom" she tried to get her to leave. "No, it's not" Yolanda finally said. "I owe you an apology. You are an adult with your own life and your own decisions that you are entitled to make for yourself" Yolanda started.

Y/N stayed silent. Her mom wasn't exactly the apologizing type. "I was not right yesterday. I was wrong and I'm sorry" Yolanda looked at Y/N. "You weren't entirely wrong mom..." Y/N admitted. "About what?" Yolanda said, skeptically. "About me... liking women... liking Cate" she came out with it, all of it.

"So... you're?" Yolanda couldn't say the word. "I'm a lesbian mom. I like women" she admitted. "I see..." Yolanda didn't indicate any emotion. This was troubling. "I know you raised me a certain way mom... and I know god doesn't "approve" but... it's who I am and I can't help that. I can't help the way I feel mom. I've tried... truly but I love who I love. You can't help it mom. You don't have a choice" she said, looking down.

"I know..." Yolanda looked at her sincerely, her voice almost a whisper. "You... know?" Y/N looked at her, shocked by her understanding. "I've let this go too long, this shunning of people I love... all because what?? Because they love someone?? Because it's who they are??? It's silly. I...." Yolanda began to tear up.

"Mom... it's okay" Y/N tried to comfort her. "It's not okay, Y/N. It's not okay" she sobbed. "I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry, Y/N" she hugged her. "Mom, it's okay. I forgive you" she held her mom as she cried. "I forgive you" she pat her back.

"I have something else to say.... Y/N I had a sister..." she started. "Wh-what? You have a...?" "Yes, her name was Nancy. I never told you about her because I shunned her. I shut her out of my life because she's a lesbian too..." Yolanda looked away, ashamed. "Oh, Mom..." Y/N looked at her, a little angry but then immediately felt pity for the woman before her.

"Why... why don't you get in contact with her?" Y/N asked, after a moment of silence. Yolanda looked down, shaking her head. "I can't do that...." She said somberly. "Why? Of course you can! You're sisters!!! She would probably love to have you back in her life! You're family!!!!" Y/N said with excitement in her eyes.

"She's... I can't do that anymore Y/N" Yolanda teared up, almost unable to speak. "Why not?!? Mom! I would love to meet her, I-" Yolanda cut her off. "She passed away, Y/N! Damn it..." Yolanda said with pain in her voice and tears streaming down her face. "She passed away and I didn't tell her I loved her. Her partner told me about her... being depressed, and I didn't even visit her, I didn't reach out...I didn't even attend the fucking funeral when she..." Yolanda shook her head.

"I hate myself for it" she admitted. Then she grabbed Y/N's hand. "I'll never do that again, Y/N. I need you to know I'm here for you. I would rather disagree with your choices than to see you... dead" Yolanda looked down.

"How did she?" Y/N began to ask. "She killed herself. She..." Yolanda sobbed. "She didn't feel like she could ever be... her and be loved. She thought she had to choose.... And it was too much" she wiped her nose. Y/N ran over to her desk and grabbed tissues, completely forgetting she was covering up Cate.

Yolanda's gaze immediately fell on Cate who was hunched up under the covers. They stared at each other for a while. Then Yolanda began to laugh. Cate and
Y/N followed suit. "You know, it's actually funny... I was always worried Y/N would sneak boys in here when she was young. It never even occurred to me that she could be sneaking girls in" she laughed.

"She didn't have to..." Yolanda laughed. "I let her have so many slumber parties..." Yolanda shook her head, laughing hard. They all shared a good laugh. Yolanda grabbed Cates hand. "Next time, you can come through the door... that is... if you don't prefer my trellis. If you do, then... more power to you, I guess" she smiled.

Cates cheeks turned red. "I almost died... so maybe I'll take you up on the door thing" Cate laughed. "Please do, it's open anytime...." Yolanda smiled. "Well, this has turned out to be really riveting, hasn't it?" Yolanda teased.

Y/N and Cate looked at each other and laughed. "Well, I won't keep you... I just, I want you to know that I'm okay with this. I need to work on some things with myself... I know that Y/N. Please, just give me time...both of you. I'll get there! Just know, I want to be a part of your lives. Okay? Agree or disagree...I love you" Yolanda grabbed their hands.

"Both of you" she smiled. "And love... always wins. No matter how you feel about anything" Yolanda shook her head. "Okay... I'll see you guys later and Cate, you're welcome to come down for coffee if you'd like" she smiled and Cate blushed. "Thank you!" She nodded. "Talk to you later" Yolanda blew a kiss to them both.