Teach Me

The Elephant

Y/N felt tears threatening to make their way out. She felt her hands shake. She felt ill. "Hello" was all Y/N could get out. "Let's go back to my office" Cate gestured. Y/N wanted so badly to say "Fuck you, I'm never talking to you again" but she didn't. She just felt her body, following her. It was if she wasn't controlling it at all. It was as if it remembered her.

Her brain was at war with her heart. Her brain was more or less in a toxic relationship with her heart. Her brain could see the danger her heart was in. It knew that by following her, it was bound to be broken again but her heart... It didn't care. It was ready to get hurt again. It knew what it wanted and ultimately what Y/N wanted, regardless of the cost.

So, she found herself following Cate, as if neither had any free will at all. You see, there was a third... her body. It did as Cate said. It followed only her. It loved only her, as did her heart. Which is why she knew how dangerous it was to speak to her at all, to even see her.

Cate closed the door, and sat down at her desk. Y/N sat down in front of her. "So, it was you... in the ad" Cate looked down and smirked. "I wondered as much..." she looked up at Y/N. "Yes, I just graduated two months ago. When I saw the position, I thought it was a perfect match for me" She said, surprised at how professional she was keeping things, despite her feelings.

"Yes, I do think you would be a good match for it" Cate couldn't help but smirk a little when she said that. There was a silence, neither of them making eye contact and both too afraid to say anything at all. There was an obvious presence in the room, an elephant if you will. They both knew it.

Cate sighed. "You... uhm... It was my position" Cate struggled to get out, still not making eye contact. "Yes, I figured as much. I... didn't know you were the principal, for the record" Y/N admitted. Cate scoffed. "Yes, well... Sorry to disappoint" she said coldly.

Y/N was silent, and did not correct her. "So, truthfully... the reason I wanted to speak with you was because of your qualifications. You are exactly what we'd need. Having known you personally and as a student... I know you would be a marvelous addition to our school" Cate looked up at her, and smiled, her eyes were not.

"So, I suppose what I'm trying to tell you is that the job is yours.... If you would like it" Cate offered, seemed to be hesitantly. "Oh, just like that?" Y/N laughed. "Well, you and I both know you're qualified. I also figured the less we need to talk... the better" Cate said curtly.

Y/N would never admit it but this comment cut her like a razor blade. "Yes, but I will say... with me working here... we will have to do some of that" she stated. "Yes, we will" Cates eyes met hers. They stayed like that, looking at one another, for the first time in a long time.

"I... I want to be Frank with you, I don't know how to approach this thing" Cate said, being straight forward. "There are clearly things we need to speak about but I don't know how to go about that..." Cate admitted. Y/N was silent.

"So, would you care to have dinner with me tonight? My house? We can talk things over perhaps..." Cate said, coldly. "If it makes you uncomfortable, we can do it at a restaurant but... I think there are sensitive things that may be spoken about, so I figured-" Y/N cut her off.

"No, your house would be fine" she said. "Okay, tonight at 7?" Cate proposed. "Yes, I'll be there at 7" Y/N and Cate just looked at one another, waiting for the other one to talk, apologize, something but... there wasn't anything, only silence.

"Okay" was all Cate said. She seemed different, defeated, sad, hurt even... but why should she be hurt?!? She's the one who cheated on Y/N!! This made Y/N feel confused. She wanted to feel sympathy for Cate but she was so mad at her and SHE was the one who got hurt in the first place! Her feelings mattered too!

They parted ways after that meeting and flash forward, Y/N found herself on Cates doorstep at 6:55. She was proud of being early. Her punctuality was getting better.

She rang her doorbell. Cate answered. In true Hollywood fashion, a gust of wind blew her hair back slightly and the sun shined on her luminous skin and golden hair. The sun brought out the various shades and hues of blue in her eyes. She looked ethereal.

She was wearing a rosy colored suit with a white shirt. She looked ravishing and effortlessly beautiful. "Come in" Cate smirked. She did as she said. Cate made a wonderful smelling Paella and paired it with wine. Y/N had actually never had Cates cooking before. Funny how someone had such an impact on you but small things like her cooking, were never experienced.

"This looks divine" Y/N said. "Smells divine also" she added. "Thank you" was all Cate said. They ate in silence. It was awkward. When they finished, Cate cleared her throat. She looked angry.

"So, the elephant in the room..." Y/N went on, ready to talk about it. "Yes" was all Cate said, waiting for her to talk about it. "So I guess you want me to start?!?" Cate said with anger and sarcasm in her tone. "Excuse me?" was all Y/N said.

"You get what you want out of me, LEAVE, never speak to me again, as if I was nothing.... AND THEN, let me get this right... you come to MY school and apply for MY old position and then eat dinner at MY house, that I made for you and YOU WONT EVEN talk to me about WHAT YOU FUCKING DID? You're that much of a child that you won't own up to what you did???" Cate looked at her, flabbergasted.

Y/N fell silent. Did she forget about what SHE did to her??? Did she forget about the little fact that SHE CHEATED ON HER?

"You've got some fucking nerve" Cate said, throwing back the rest of her wine.

"I thought we could have a civilized conversation, maybe work together even because UNLIKE YOU, I am willing to push my feelings about you to the side! I am willing to move past it... but you... I AT LEAST EXPECT YOU TO OWN UP TO WHAT YOU DID FOR FUCKS SAKE!" Cate raised her voice.

"I waited for you... I cried for you... fuck..." Cate said, walking away to the bathroom. Y/N just stood there flabbergasted. What the hell was that?? Yeah, she fucking left her ass but why was she failing to forget the fact that SHE WAS CHEATING and the reason she left was because CATE broke her heart and LIED???

Y/N got up quickly out of her chair and started to follow her. "You can leave now, you're good at that" was all Cate said, ice cold tone in her voice. "I CAN LEAVE!!!" Y/N yelled back. "But I want to know one thing!!!" She finally let her brain do the talking.

"Why did you lie to me??" She asked, close to tears. "You cheated on me, Cate. That's why I fucking left! You cheated on me!" She said, very close to the edge.

Cate looked at her as if she were crazy. "Cate, I was in love with you. Why didn't you just... fuck me and then let me go? Why did you have to make me fall in love with you? Why, Cate???" She asked, desperately, finally giving in and sobbing.

Cate walked over to her, placing her hand on her shoulder. "I... I don't know where you got that from, Y/N but I promise you when I say this... I never cheated on you" Cate assured. Y/N looked up at her, unable to tell if she was lying or not.

"What?" She said. "I loved you too,
Y/N... God damn it, I starved myself for months. I thought you... I thought you used me and threw me away because I... wasn't enough or... I... I never cheated on you, Y/N. I never would" she was crying at this point too.

"So then why did you tell the woman you were talking on the phone to that you loved her?? Why was her profile still on your PlayStation??" She asked, panicked.

"Darling, I told her that I loved her because I do. There's a very big difference between being in love and loving someone, though. You know this, right?" Cate asked.

"No, I guess I don't..." Y/N looked down, ashamed. All the wasted years and anguish for both of them... for what? Because she wouldn't communicate or she failed to trust her??? Why didn't she talk to Cate?? Why wouldn't she?