The whiffs of fate

CHAPTER THREE

I woke up on my mother's screams, I jump on my bed, I open the door and run to her, I open her room's door, I turn on the light, my mother is still lying on the bed sleeping, but she's suffering from her usual nightmare, she is asleep but she cries and screams
"Don't leave me, please don't go, please... pleas"
I'm running to her, trying to wake her up, "Mom. Mom, Wake up Mom"
She opens her eyes, to look at me with an innocent, oppressed look.
She's really breaking my heart.
I hug her, she cries and says "Layla, he is gone, really gone, he has abandoned me, abandoned you, all of us"
I say with my eyes full of tears "It's okay, Mom. It's okay, everything is going to be all right, we're fine now without him, just let him go, please.."
She is still crying
I pat her on the shoulder and say "Everything's going to get better, I promise"
I put her on her bed after she calmed down, I covered her and then I went to my room
I'm laying on my bed again unable to sleep, It was hard to sleep in the first time,  and now that I woke up I can't go back to sleep, and also thinking of Mom, won't let me sleep, I can't leave her alone in that state. 
I get up from my bed, take my book from the shelf, then I go to her room, she is now sleeping soundly like a small child, I sit in the chair by the window, and read
The sun is about to rise, so I won't do anything by going back to sleep, and I'm probably just going to be late for work. 
I spent the morning reading while I was checking the phone several times to see what time it was, when it was seven o'clock, I got up to make breakfast, my mother was still asleep, since she went back to sleep after that dream, and she is sleeping so deeply
How beautiful she looks, she is so calm
I prepared breakfast,
I prepared everything that my mother likes, hot tea, pancakes with honey, fresh bread, and some fruits, she loves to eat fruits in the morning
I didn't want to wake her up, so I ate my breakfast alone, I covered the table, and put a note on top of the cover,
[I prepared everything you like, when I come back I want to find the dishes empty, okay, make sure you eat everything, and don't forget to take your medicine, I'm going to work, I love you]
I went to her room to check on her before leaving, I kissed her, and then I left. 
On my way to the shop, I put on headphones, and I put on a song by my favorite singer, because I don't want to think about anything, I want to stop my brain from thinking about my mother or myself, or anything else
I'm tired of these thoughts that make everything dark, that stop me  from clinging to any hope, even if it was small. 
I'm fed up with everything. 
The only thing that still reminds me that I'm alive are my flowers. 
I enter the the shop
The flowers are blooming in every corner of the shop, with their bright colors, which bring life back to everyone who looks at them.
"Good morning Essal" I say
"Good morning Layla, how are you?" Essal asks as I put away my bag
"I'm fine, just my mood is not right" I say
"Why?  Has anything happened?" Essal asks
I say "She is my mother"
"Oh yeah, yesterday is the first of August, did she have the same dream again? " Essal asks
"Yeah, again"
Essal "And How is she now?"
I say "I really don't know, she hasn't woken up since she went back to sleep, I went out after I made her breakfast, I'm tired of this, I want her to forget him and live her life, he is gone, he chose to go, he changed her with another one, and he left with her, so why does she still want him, isn't she tired of living in the midst of all this?  She pays no attention to what I do in order to see her smile. I'm really fed up"
Essal hugs me and says "Just give her some time, she may need more time to understand"
I say "It's been nine years, Essal, nine years" 
"It's okay everything will be fine" she says
"Let us from all this, I'll go get some flowers from inside" I say
I went inside to bring flowers, the moment someone entered my shop
I heard Essal whispering behind me "Layla, look who came"
I turned to see Owen, standing there. 
I Hide quickly behind the flowers shelf and say to Essal "Essal, do not tell him that I am here, I beg you"
Owen says "Hi Essal, how are you?"
Essal answers "Great, what about you?"
Owen "Fine, I don't see Layla, is she here?"
Essal answers "Mmm, yeah she's inside bringing flowers"
Essal is calling me "Layla, come on, Owen is asking about you"
I get out of my hiding place and look at Essal angrily, I wish I could punch her now first of all
"Hi Owen" I say
Owen says "Layla, what's up?"  
"Fine"
Owen says "I was just wondering, if you like to come with me to dinner tonight... of course if you have nothing else to do"
I answer Owen with a cold tone "I can't, I have a lot of work here to do, and I have to be home early, so I can't go out with you, sorry"
Owen says "No, don't be, I'll go now, see you later"
I say "Bye"
As soon as Owen left, Essal began her usual conversation "Really, Layla, the poor boy asks you to go out with him, and you refuse him like that, it wasn't nice, he still likes and you know this and every time he tries to develop your relationship, you refuse him like that"
I answer impulsively "I do not like him, and I did not ask him to like me, and I do not want anyone to like me, and I will not like anyone at all, I will not allow myself to be a victim of what my mother went through"
Essal remained silent
I say "Look Essal, I didn't mean to yell at you like that, I'm sorry, but you know what I'm going through, I don't have time or mood for love trivia"
Essal says "I know, I just want you to change the atmosphere, and have a little fun, so that you can forget about all these problems for a while"
I say "I'm sorry Essal, but I'm fine like this"
By the way Owen is my childhood friend, we grew up together, we were together during elementary and middle school, then when we reached the high school we started dating, we dated for a year, then that day came, the day my father left my mother, after he sold our house, and he used the money to leave with that woman, the woman he was cheating my mother with her, I was in a very bad state, that lead me to broke up with Owen
I know he didn't do anything wrong, but I didn't want to continue that relationship, because I would only hurt him
My mom and I moved out of that neighborhood
I completed my last year of high school, I wasn't talking to Owen,I avoided him, in fact I didn't talk to anyone, I became lonely and depressed
I went to university, we both chose different majors, so our paths parted
So I haven't seen him since high school, I've forgotten him, I don't like him anymore, I realized that feeling was just teenage nonsense, then I met him again the day I opened my flower shop, he was following me, he knew where I lived and what I was doing, while I wasn't known anything about him, he kept liking me, while I totally forgot about him, then he started getting close to me again, every time he offers me to go out and so on, I refuse him, I don't want to hurt him with harsh words to get away from me, but I think I have to say something hurtful to make him get away  about me, and stop liking me, and that would be for his own good
I if Essal heard this talk, she'll kill me...