Try Again

Chapter 15

Tyler's POV

My head was throbbing and the continuous beeping sound wasn't helping. I tried opening my eyes but I quickly shut it back immediately. I almost went blind. Why was everything so bright?

I slowly pried my eyes open again. I scanned the room I was in. It looked plain and smelled like antiseptic and drugs. It eventually dawned on me that I was in the hospital.

I fiddled with the tube stuck in my hand as I waited for someone to show up, I was resisting the urge to yank it off. The door opened and Sophia walked in. I instantly felt relieved to see someone I knew.

"Hi." I managed to croak out. I cringed at the sound of my voice. I wasn't the only one who found it displeasing since Sophia jumped at the sound of it. It was either that or she was startled.

Her head whipped towards my direction in fright. She carefully walked towards me, "Oh my God, you are awake. Are you alright?" She inquired in glee. I shook my head in reply to her question, "That serves you right." She remarked as her expression fell.

Before he could say anything else, Sophia had already walked towards the door. She opened it and announced to everyone, "He's awake. You guys can come in." She said.

It was Shawn who came in first followed by Mira, Selena, and Azalea. Tobi, Aiden, and… Jeremy came in last. I was surprised to see him here. They were still in uniform so I guess they came straight from school.

They all filed in and stood in silence fidgeting awkwardly. They eyed me warily.

"I will go inform the doctor that you're up," Sophia said before exiting the room.

I averted my gaze to the rest, "You don't need to walk on eggshells around me. Spill it." I told them as I was tired of them watching me.

"You are stupid. If you didn't already nearly die, I would have punched you." Aiden blurted out which made guilt settle in my stomach.

I really nearly died. I wanted to apologize and tell them that I didn't mean it but the only thing that came out of my mouth was, "I need some water."

Azalea sighed. "I will go get you some."

"I will come with you," Jeremy added and they both left.

I glanced up and locked eyes with Shawn. I owed him and Jeremy my life. I could hear his voice echoing in my head as he tried to revive me,

"Open your eyes Tyler. Don't you dare die on me?" He yelled, giving me CPR.

I averted my gaze from him. The guilt was eating me up.

"Why?" Mira voiced out softly breaking the silence. She took a daring step towards me. "Why did you do it?"

I remained silent.

She continued. "Did you think of any of us? Did you think of how we would feel? Did you think of your mother and sister before you did such a selfish thing?" She asked, her voice wavering.

"It's my life." I retorted.

"No, it's not. That life doesn't belong to you." She exclaimed. Selena reached out and pulled her back just as my mother walked in.

Dread filled me immediately. She scanned the room. "Can you please excuse us for a moment?" She asked them with a smile. They all nodded before proceeding to leave the room. Sophia walked in and shut the door behind her.

My mom gazed at me with a mixture of relief and rage. I sunk deeper into the bed. I wish the earth would open up and swallow me.

She dropped the flask she was holding on the table beside my bed. She turned to me "So, it's your life ugh?" She said. She had heard me.

"Mommy, let's give him some time to rest. He just woke up." Sophia interjected.

My mom snapped at her. "Be quiet. He has been resting for the past nine hours, he should be fine." She glanced back at me with a raised brow. I ignored her.

"Do you know how I felt today when I received a phone call that my only son had tried to take his own life?" Her voice shook. "You might be going through a lot but that life is not yours to take."

I stared down at my hands in shame. "I'm sorry," I muttered.

"Save it. I don't need your apology. I go through stress all the time but you don't see me swallowing pills."

"Mom!" Sophia yelled. "Don't talk to him like that-" I winced as the sound of the slap ricocheted across the room, cutting Sophia short. It caught me off guard.

"I told you to be quiet." My mom said.

"I'm the one you are angry with. Don't hit her." I interjected weakly.

Sophia let out a laugh. She brushed her hair from her face teary face, "Things are hard for me too you know." She said sniffing. "I come back from school every day to hear you fighting with Dad on the phone." She paused then continued. "Sometimes I don't think he knows I exist. He never calls me, only Tyler. I can't even confide in you Mom because you are always busy and distant." She cried.

She looked over at me on the bed. "I thought you understood me but you clearly don't. You told me you would be there for me, do you remember?" I nodded.

"Then why did you try to kill yourself again? Why? Your friend was right, you are selfish."

I stared at her apologetically as tears rolled down my cheek. I had failed my little sister.

"What do you mean 'again'?" My mom asked. Her eyes darted and locked with mine, she asked in disbelief, "Has this happened before?" Nobody answered.

"Answer me." She yelled, running out of patience. I nodded in reply. She looked at me disheartened before slowly seating on the only chair in the room. "When did this happen?"

I gulped. If I did not start talking, I had a feeling that I was not going to like the consequences. I gazed at the ceiling dejectedly before I opened my mouth, "It happened shortly after my fall out with Jeremy…"