ALL OF THE GIRLS YOU LOVED BEFORE | fushiguro tōji

2 | the rouse

it's been three days since i found out that naoya had been cheating on me for god knows how long.

three days since i had ate. i guess drowning myself in alcohol would count. i had went back to smoking. the nicotine made it seem like an illusion. that everything was fake and it was merely just a dream.

i was back in that unhealthy cycle.

the day after the breakup my editor had came to my apartment. back then i was half conscious, in the mist of overwhelming myself in the alcohol. my editor had decided to cut me off since my works were not selling. despite my blurred vision and slurred speech, i could understand what was going on.

i came from a family from a line of prestige doctors that had been following in the medical field since olden times. me, the great y/n, decided to say screw you to that direction and got disowned by my parents since they didn't want me to ruin their image of a family of doctors.

being fascinated by literature pieces when i was young, i wanted to be a writer. i enrolled myself in tokyo international university to pursue a degree in english language and literature.

i was only 18 years old then. without the guidance of any adults or parents. i was alone. working odd jobs to pay my rent and taking a student loan that helped me in getting my degree. one of my jobs included taking care of my neighbour's children. it was the job that paid the most and my neighbour would occasionally invite me to their home for meals.

it was times like this where i actually felt like home. the warmth and energy the young children had exhibit made me miss the feeling of actually having a home.

now 28, the children had already grown to be teenagers, 10 long years had passed and nothing had changed. i had basically saw my neighbour's children grow up. the youngest being 5 and now already 15. the oldest being 10 and now 20.

now, it felt as though my whole life was falling apart.

what if i had just followed my family and became a doctor?

i wouldn't be suffering life this.

i'm basically jobless now.

no editor, no income. nothing.

just another bottle...

SATORU'S POINT OF VIEW.

"suguruuuuu..."
i called out, placing my arm on his shoulder. suguru was currently making sure that the kids in the daycare were asleep.

"what is it satoru?"
suguru asked, tucking in nanako as the child clung onto her sister, mimiko.

"did y/n reply to your texts? she hasn't been replying me."
i texted y/n 24/7 since she was the only one that could tolerate my bullshit other than suguru. shoko was busy most of the time since she worked at a hospital which requires her to be on clock most of the time.

suguru shook his head, reaching for his phone. scrolling to y/n's contact, the last text he had sent to y/n was left on delivered.

weird.

"we should go check on her later after closing."
suguru suggested. i nodded eagerly. the last time the three saw each other was last weekend since we had been busy operating the daycare. aside from utahime and nitta, suguru and i were the only teachers here, taking care of more than 10 young toddlers. they were all hyperactive and curious ones with playful personalities.

nanami kento helps out regularly too by coming by the daycare to ensure that none of us screw up. he works as a businessmen and has already settled down with two children waiting at home for him.