Blooming Secrets [sunflower] (paused :])

~🌻~Leaving already?~🌻~

(Basil's pov)

Me and Sunny sat on the porch for a while, listening to the soft sounds of the birds in the trees.

Then he got up slowly, and turned to me. "Well, did you want to go to the park now?"

"O-Oh, right, yeah! I kinda forgot about that." I was kind of embarrassed that I'd forgotten something that I planned myself.

My face turned a bit red, I liked it when Sunny spoke. His voice sounded nice...

Anyway, I still had the feelings I had before, I was just more comfortable with them now...

"Hold on, I have to put my book inside." Sunny opened the door and went inside, closing it behind him. I just sat there in silence.

...

Then I heard the door open again, and Sunny came back outside.

"Okay, let's go." I walked slightly in front of Sunny, and he walked looking down at the sidewalk.

"Is something wrong?" I took Sunny's hand in mine, and he looked up at me.

"Oh, no, nothing's wrong. I just... the flowers that we keep passing kind of reminded me of you."

I felt my face warm up a bit. "Oh, okay."

We walked the rest of the way still holding hands, and I looked over at Sunny a few times...

Until we finally reached the park. There was barely anyone there, just me, Sunny, and a couple people I've never seen before.

We sat down on the swings, and Sunny looked like he was about to cry.

"What's wrong, Sunny...?"

"It's just... being here brings back a lot of memories..."

I hugged Sunny, and it was clear that he didn't expect it because he flinched. But then he hugged me back, his hands shaking. After a bit we were crying on each other's shoulders...

I never wanted him to leave now, ever again. But I knew he had to. But the words slipped out of my mouth anyway.

"Sunny... never say goodbye to me..."

Sunny was a bit surprised, and pulled himself away from me, but still nodded.

"I won't..."

"Anyway... I think I need to get home now..."

NO BASIL STOP STAY WITH HIM YOU LOVE HIM TELL HIM THE TRUTH.

I tried to get the voice out of my head and just simply told Sunny "I'm not feeling very good.."

"Oh. Okay. I hope you feel better soon." I hugged Sunny one more time and then just left.

Why did you do that? WHY DID YOU LEAVE? THAT'S SO MEAN, BASIL! YOU'RE SO MEAN!!

Something that I said to Sunny the year before popped back into my head... But... it was directed at me. I looked back, and Sunny was just sitting there on the swing still, looking down at the ground.

I can't go back now...

I already chose this.

Sunny's going to hate me for this...

I just kept walking home pretending nothing was wrong. Then I realized I had to stop by Kel's house to get my bag. I was still very disappointed in myself.

I walked over to Kel's house and knocked on the door.

Knock, knock, knock...

I heard someone rush to the door and knew immediately that it was Kel.

"Oh, hey Basil! Where's Sunny...?" Kel asked, looking behind me. "He's still at the park... I just came back over to grab my stuff..."

"Oh, okay. You're leaving already?"

I just nodded in response. I didn't really want to talk about it anymore.

I went to the guest room and grabbed my backpack, quickly shoving all of my stuff into it. I put it on my back and left, waving and saying 'goodbye' to Kel and Hero.

I felt a bit guilty as I left. Guilty that I just left Sunny. But I didn't want to accidentally reveal any feelings I had about him...

I know he won't like me back.

This isn't fair... I don't deserve Sunny, anyway. He's so much better of a person than I am... Why is he still nice to me? Why are we even still friends?

After what happened, I still feel guilty of everything. It was my idea, after all...

Pushing that aside, I walked home at a slow-ish pace, looking down. As I got to my house, I opened the door and immediately went to my room without saying hello to Polly.

I closed and locked the door, and threw my bag into the corner.

"What was I thinking!? I can't just leave like that... I hope he doesn't hate me after that..." I said to myself out loud, since nobody was really there to hear me.

Why am I so useless...?

I felt like I was being watched. Like something was there. I tried to sleep, but couldn't... there was no way I would let something control my mind again...

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Author note: hello it's me again!! the next chapter will probably include sensitive topics so enter at your own risk

also i need some ideas so pls give some ideas

my brain is not braining right now

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