Blooming Secrets [sunflower] (paused :])

~🌻~I'm fine...~🌻~

⚠CONTENT WARNING ⚠
THERE MAY BE MENTIONS OF SH,
SU!C!DE, AND JUST DEATH IN GENERAL. IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE READING THESE TOPICS, STOP HERE.

(Basil's pov)

As I walked to the park, I felt people looking at me a couple times. I guess that was normal, but I felt as if they were judging me.

I felt as if everyone was judging me, though.

When I finally got to the park, I felt nauseous...

The horrible thoughts filled my head again.

Turn back, they all hate you. You're a bad person, you know. You're not good enough for Sunny. You don't deserve these friends. They're so much better than you.

I wished the thoughts would just go away. My mind tried to pull me away, but I slowly walked towards the old secret hideout, where we still had picnics sometimes.

I peeked around, they were all there talking, laughing... They didn't need me to be there.

But then Kel noticed me somehow. Kel waved and yelled "COME OVER HERE!!!" in a happy way. He had a big grin on his face, and Sunny also looked happy. Everyone looked happy. Maybe my mind was wrong.

I went over and sat next to Kel, smiling at him. I'm pretty sure he noticed how tired I looked. "Hi Basil! How have you been?" Kel was smiling brightly.

"Oh, uh... I've been alright..." It really didn't sound like I was alright...

"Are you sure...?" Sunny asked, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.."

"Okay, if you say so..."

...

The sound that broke the silence was Kel opening a bottle of Orange Joe. It exploded and went all over Aubrey.

"Kel! What was that for?" Aubrey asked, hitting the bottle so it spilled on him.

"I didn't mean to!!"

"Shut up! We all know you did that on purpose."

Kel and Aubrey kept fighting, the rest of us just awkwardly watching.

Kel ended up getting the Orange Joe poured on top of his head, and he gave up.

I giggled as the two splashed the drink at each other. Sunny looked over at me and smiled. I smiled back genuinely.

"Alright, guys! I made us all some sandwiches and I brought some snacks." Hero said, putting the picnic basket down. It reminded me of Mari.

"Oh, yeah! We finally get to eat!" Kel said, grinning.

I still kind of felt awkward around Sunny, but I just tried to hide it.

Hero took a zip lock bag out of the picnic basket. It was full of sandwiches. Hero gave everyone a sandwich, and when I got mine, I said 'thank you'.

I felt out of place. Everyone else talked and had fun, but I couldn't hear them over the awful ringing in my ears...

"This is the first time we've all been together like this in a while." Hero smiled at all of us, and then took a bite of his sandwich.

"You're right... I kinda wish it could be like this more often." Aubrey said, leaning back a bit.

"Me too!" Said Kel, taking a big bite of his sandwich.

I nodded in agreement and said "Me too... I wish it could be like this all the time."

Sunny just nodded.

I smiled. Even though being around Sunny felt a bit weird, it was still important to me...

At that point, everyone was just eating. Kel and Aubrey were having a fight about how Kel eats sandwiches for some reason.

"What? Eating all the crust first is just saving the best for last!" Kel said, while continuing to shove pieces of his sandwich in his mouth.

"It's better with the crust! That's what it's made for!" Aubrey yelled back at him.

We were all happy at that moment, laughing together, talking together, until...

I accidentally touched Sunny's hand while I was moving my hand. I immediately blushed and pulled my hand away. Sunny looked at me with this weird expression...

"I-I'm sorry... I-I didn't mean to!" I blurted out. Why do I have to be so awkward??

"It's... fine. Are you blushing?"

Oh no. Sunny noticed... How could I let this happen? It's all because of me...

"Oh, um... n-no..." I hid my face and then sighed. "I-I think I have to go home now... Polly might be worried, I didn't tell her I was leaving..."

Excuses, excuses, excuses... When could I tell the truth?

"Oh, okay. Bye, Basil." Sunny looked a tiny bit confused.

"Oh, Basil's leaving? Bye, Basil!" Kel waved.

The other two didn't look convinced.

"You're leaving already?" Aubrey asked, and I just nodded in response.

"Bye, Basil. I hope you feel better soon." Hero smiled at me. I know what he meant.

I waved at the four and then left. I'm so selfish...

My selfish mind just couldn't stop. Sunny will never like me now. I doubt he liked me before, even...

As I walked into my house, I noticed Polly in the kitchen. She waved at me, smiling, but I didn't respond. I went straight to my room, locking the door.

What have I done this time...?

~~~~~~~~~
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