Blooming Secrets [sunflower] (paused :])

~🌻~What if I don't wanna go?~🌻~

⚠CONTENT WARNING ⚠
THERE MAY BE MENTIONS OF SH, SU!C!DE, AND JUST DEATH IN GENERAL. IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE READING THESE TOPICS, STOP HERE.

There might also be a couple swear words in the next chapters.

(Basil's pov)

I woke up this morning feeling sick... but I couldn't help feeling like a horrible person after what I did the night before.

I hate this... I wish this feeling would go away...

All of my overthinking did the opposite of helping me. It hurt me. I felt useless. I was never really there for long when I was with Sunny...

But all of that doesn't matter right now. It's not the time.

I got up, rubbing the sleep out of my tired eyes. I walked into the bathroom, looking in the mirror. I've only seen myself like this one other time...

I had dark bags under my eyes, my hair was really messy, and I just looked... miserable.

I wondered if I could fix what I did. I always expressed my feelings in the wrong ways... like accidentally hurting the people I loved the most...

But I'm done with that. If I just stay inside, nothing will happen, right?

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(Sunny's pov)

I started to get a bit worried about Basil. He just left randomly the day before, and I haven't really seen him since then. But I guess it was normal...? I mean, you don't usually see all of you friends every day.

We were all going to have a picnic today, but we haven't told Basil yet, so I thought I would go tell him myself.

"Hey, Kel, I was going to go tell Basil about the-"

"I'll come with you!" Kel jumped up before I could even say the last word.

I just smiled. I couldn't really think of anything else to say, so I just said 'okay'.

As we walked to Basil's house, Kel talked about random things.

Dogs... sports... food... even microwaves and water at some point.

When we got to Basil's house, I knocked on the door. Polly answered.

"Oh, hello, you two! Basil was talking about you coming back, Sunny." Polly smiled brightly, but then it kind of faded. "I'm guessing you're here for Basil?"

I nodded.

"Yeah, we're having a picnic later and wanted to invite him!" Kel smiled.

"Hold on, I'll see if he wants to. He's only come out of his room once all day." Polly closed the door.

"Do you think he'll come out?" Kel asked.

"I don't know... what happened yesterday was kind of weird." I shrugged and looked down. I felt guilty.

"Hmm... Okay. So what exactly happened yesterday?"

"Well... we hugged, then he said he didn't feel well so he had to go home."

"Oh. That's weird."

Polly opened the door again. "He said he might, what's the time that it's happening?"

"Around 1:00." I answered, feeling a bit anxious. Basil always came to our picnics.

"Okay, I'll tell him." Polly looked a bit worried, I wonder what was going on. "Thank you boys for stopping by, I'm sure Basil will probably go."

"You're welcome, I really hope Basil feels better soon!" Kel said, a bit loud but not that loud. He also looked worried.

"Well, I guess we should just go back to your house and hope Basil shows up at the picnic." I was very anxious now, but I just kept my regular expression. Me and Kel then walked back to his house.

(Basil's pov)

I didn't want to go. What if I revealed my feelings accidentally? What if Sunny ended up hating me after all?

There were too many bad possibilities. I couldn't go. If I did, there was a chance something bad could happen...

But try to be a sunflower, try to face towards the bright side of things...

I can't. I can't see the sun when the clouds are blocking the sunlight...

I deserve this, don't I...?

I'm a horrible person. A good person wouldn't just leave their best friend... Not like that. Not at that kind of moment.

I picked up the garden shears that I kept on my window sill. I haven't done this in a while...

I opened them and held the sharp blade to my arm, pressing down. I left a pretty long cut before I stopped. Then I realized, how was I going to cover this?

Say it slipped out of your hand. That will trick them.

It was pretty deep, though... I don't know how they wouldn't notice.

I'll just wear a jacket. Or a sweater... anything with long sleeves would work.

...

The picnic was going to start soon. I went out of my room again and into the bathroom. I cleaned the dried blood off of my arm. Then I picked up my brush and brushed my hair.

I needed to look kind of nice, like I was at least okay...

I put a flower clip in my hair. It was a tiny sunflower. Thinking about it, my outfit was kind of sunflower themed...

I sighed, looking in the mirror again. The bags under my eyes were definitely very noticeable. But at least I covered the cut... even though it was at least 70 degrees outside...

I'll just have to deal with it.

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author note: hey it's me again!! sorry for all the short chapters ill try to write more often!! i have a lot of time now that it's the weekend

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