Bliss (kimchay)

chapter 12

I should be the one to apologize;I've been blind by anger and hurt you. "

He looked at me doubtfully, "Anyway, let's not talked about it for now," I said. "I'll call the doctor later to inform her that you've awakened."

He nodded as he stared back again at nathan

sleeping face.

"I already gave him a name," I informed as h snapped his head to look at me in disbelief. "Im sorry; if you already have a name in mind we can change it."

"What did you name him?"

I put my hand in the back of my neck sheepishly, "well I named him nathan"

He looked at me. "I-It's fine," he said as he

smiled shyly. Heck, it's damn cute!

"And I also registered him in my family name he frowned.

"What?!"

"Well, since he's my son, he deserves to use it."

He froze and looked at me surprised, "How did you know?" he asked frightened.

I grabbed his hand and hold it tightly. "I know it's too sudden and I know that it's still hard for you to forgive but please, will you live with me?" I asked pleadingly.

He gasped, "B-But..."

"Don't worry, I promise, I won't hurt you ever again!" his hand is shaking and his face is frightened. "I've already regretted doing that to you; please forgive me."

I felt nervous as he stared at me intently as if he's seeing through me.

He hesitated at first but he sighed as he glanced at nathan before looking back at me.

"Promise me you won't hurt me again?" He said looking straight at my eyes.

"Yes, I will not hurt you ever again. Will you live with me?" I asked him again this time I can see the softness in his eyes.

"Okay, but I just want to ask something I if it's alright with you..." he said silently while his head down.

I smile happily, "anything you want!" he gasped again at my excited voice.

"I want to see porsche first..." he muttered.

I frowned, porsche? Who is he? Could he be his lover? I think it's the guy who visited him at his apartment. I felt a pang in my heart. Fuck it!

"Uh... If y-you don't want to, i-its f-fine..." he said in panicked making me guilty.

"Who's he?"

"He is my brother..."

Oh, it's just his brother. I calmed down, I felt relieved.

I smiled at him making him stared at me as if I've grown two heads. "Of course you could, by the way, I already canceled your apartment contract and transferred your things in our new house."

His eyes widened then started to tear up. "Why are you doing this? I thought you hate me? You even bought a new house... You confused me..." he said between his sobbing.

I sighed again, "I don't know too but, I want to try things out..." I said brushing off his tears. "And I don't hate you, okay? I brought a new house because I want a larger place where our son can run and so that nothing will remind us of the time when I hurt you." I explained.

"Is that true? You even call him our son... but you're not gay and you hate us..." He starts crying again.

"Yes, I might not be gay but you're different and as I said, I don't hate you," I explained again. "I'm very sorry for all the things I've done, I want us to move on from the past and start a new life with him," I said as I gestured to our sleeping son.

"You should think it carefully, Is it because you pity and feeling guilt with us you're doing this. I don't want you to regret it in the end." He said looking at our son.

"Look at me" I cupped his face. "Listen, I'm not doing this because of that reason. Yes, I felling regret of my doing but I want to make it up to you. Please give me a chance to do what is right and I will regret it more when I lose you." pleaded to him, there's no response from him he keeps staring at me and I'm feeling nervous.

"You don't have to feel this way, I know too well that it's hard for you to forgive me and you're still afraid of me," I smiled at him. "But I'm willing to wait to accept me, so please stay with me. Let's start again." I said kissing his forehead

[Porschay P.O.V]

Everything happened fast in these few months. I can't really imagine that my simple life would turn out like this. Being raped and bare his child it's not my dream to be. But what has done is done I can't back the time.

I just want to move on and start a new life for my son's sake. I've been thankful that my son is fine and with me. Being with him I forgot the dark past happed to me.

Kimhan provides me and nathan what we need. We sleep in a deferent room as per my request. I just want to adjust and I'm not used to living with someone and nathan might cry a lot at night, I don't want to disturb him.

He didn't invade my privacy that I'm thankful. When he didn't around I would clean the house and do laundry. I should prefer to keep myself busy to free with my thoughts. I would cook some food for him and leave in the kitchen counter for him. I will avoid him at all costs not because I fear him, Just... Just...

I'm awake with my own thoughts when kimhan knocks to my room.

"Porschay, Let's have dinner together," He said. There's no reason to refuse him.

We eat in the kitchen while nathan is sleeping on the couch. I eat silently avoiding to start any conversation with him.

"Nathan," he called me and I flinched, Is he mad?

"Please don't avoid me." His voice is serious. I look at him and start to feel guilty.

"If you still mad tell me what should I do to gain your forgiveness." I'm shocked.

"No... No, I'm not mad at you anymore, I just ... just don't want to disturb you and cause you any trouble." I mumble but he still hears me.

"If you don't want to cause me any trouble then, sleep in the same room with me." He said I didn't reply. I'm not ready to sleep with him not when I start to ... as he read me he said.

"Okay, I don't want to force you, but you don't have to do any chore in this house I will hire a maid to do that." he starts to eat again.

"No, you don't have to do that, I will do it." I

quickly responded at him.

"Porschay..." He absurdly glared to me and I also glared at him.

He sight, "Okay, fine ... fine ..." He didn't talk to me after that. I know I'm stubborn as hell, but this is the only method I know to pay to him he gave us everything we need and house to live.

One night I just laying down nathan in his crib he is peacefully sleeping. He likes to hug his butterfly pillow when he sleeps, kimhan buys this for him. He knows what nathan likes. I kiss his forehead and lay at my bed to start sleep also but It's not too long when the room opens. It's kimhan, what is he doing here?