Gabsile

chapter 14

Right now the only thing I am grateful for is my friendship with Gosiame. It has grown beautifully and I think I enjoy her company more than my own husband's.  Every friday when I knock off I pass by her house to kill time. Its a 3hour drive to her own apartment from my school and an hour drive to my house but I don't mind . When I think about my husband and my marriage I feel sick , he isn't the same man that I married , not the same loving , caring , kindhearted , gentle man that I married.

We hardly have sex , he comes home at night and leaves early in the morning or maybe he doesn't come home I don't know , I drink chamomile tea to knock me off just to avoid talking to him. My marriage feels like the last phases of a relationship when you can feel that you're not needed anymore but you just hold on because .

When my marriage started weighing me down and stressing me out I turned to my mother. I didn't confide in her & im not planning to anytime soon but I called her just to hear her voice and for a gossip session just to laugh so I could feel better. Today I called her and she asked if I knew Akhumzi's ex fiancè because the ladies in her social said they had seen her in town , but I don't know her and it really doesn't matter. She is probably back home to visit family plus Akhumzi is my husband , he got down on one knee infront of me and paid lobola. Im sure she moved on too , its been  4 years  good years since she allegedly returned the ring and took her own path.

I want to see her , this ex fiancè but at the same time if I ask around I will come off as insecure so I will let go of it. Maybe I will bump into her in town too or something & she might walk up to me and say sonething nasty , you know how ex's are.

Tonight I am having an intimate dinner with Gosiame , the SAPS employee might come home tonight or he might not it doesn't matter, what matters is Gosiame. I want to cook lasagne or some couscous or maybe we should order pizza and call it a night , I don't know I will see. I rush home to  clean before wearing my comfortable clothes aka sweat pants and an oversized yellow t-shirt with a doek and call her and talk about dinner. We agree on pizza and we set the time , 6pm CAT. She doesn't need direction because she knows this area & has been here before so I take the time to relax. Okay I don't, I worry about Akhumzi , I worry that he might come and cause a scene or he might be rude and just offend us .

She arrives wearing short shorts , a white unbuttoned shirt & some strappy highheels. My friend is stunning , she looks flawless with her redlips , I am kind of wishing I slapped on something cute but its my house so it would be crazy. She has white wine while I settle for Oros , can't have anymore drunk nights around here . After a good hour of lit candles , a wine & oros glass the bell rings & she offers to get it while I go fetch the plates in the kitchen.

After what feels like a good minute I see Akhumzi  sitting on our couch, yes we still haven't gotten the dinner table , I don't think we ever will. He sits on his phone & I take out another plate . See our couch is U-shaped & he sits where he can face my friend and make her feel uncomfortable because he is uncultured & lacks common sense & decency.

Our pizza does arrive and funny enough he plates a slice of Hawaiian flavoured pizza & takes only one bite before excusing himself , yes Akhumzi the uncultured mamas boy excuses himself. If he stays up tonight he won't have nice things to say about my new friend. We remain seated and happy. She drinks two more glasses before leaving and I walk her out.

The happiness rushes out of my body when I lock the front door and find him standing infront of the tv . He doesn't ask me about my day but guess what ? He instructs me  not to invite her over ,to stop being friends with her because , he doesn't like her. Not because she could be a serial killer that his police station is investigating or because she is a child trafficker or a drug dealer No! Because he , Akhumzi Khumalo Doesn't like her . Maybe im five years old & he is in my father, maybe paying lobola means dictating a person's life.

I look at him and gather all my strength and walk away. I refuse to talk to him about her & I will not listern to him. Ung jwayela kabi! After taking a shower and getting in bed I hear him close the front door. Ladies & gentlemen Mr ' I don't like her' has left the building. I am sure that he is going to a womans house because all his friends have girlfriends or wives & theres no one who will welcome him into their house at 23:30 if not a woman. This is the 'for worse" people speak about in their vows & maybe this is how they treat you when you'v never signed at home affairs & never had a white wedding & also when you're barren.