Gabsile

A family Braai

****Duduzane Buthelezi ****

My loud uncle , the certified man whore that Mpilo took after decided to grace us with his presence and when he called me I gave Siyanda my card and told her to take Courtney out and to explore Western Cape. I know my father told him we are staying here and I'm not pleased. Don't get me wrong I don't hate him but I just don't think he is someone you can have around your future wife , after she says Yes then sure he can meet her but now? When her and I haven't even been dating for a month? Nope. He might say the wrong things, might scare her off , might reveal the  uggly parts of me that I have worked on and changed over the years .

'Baphi abafazi?" He asks after getting out of  his car. And Mpilo just scratches his beard leaving me to answer, ' they went out , you know , women and shopping". ' Well then lets  all go in ,when they come back wr will braai some meat , I want to meet them too. Your father had some lovely stuff to say but we all know he is a good man. My opinion will be honest and unbiased' he says lighting his cigar and I sigh.

****Siyanda Simelani****

Instead of shopping we go to a spar for some massages and to talk. Courtney hasn't been feeling great lately , she hasn't been enjoying this trip , even after being suprised with a car and I want to cheer her up and to talk to her because I have a feeling that I am the closest thing to family for her.

'What's the problem Courts? You guys were okay and then after spending some time on the golf course everything changed , talk to me "
'On the golf course I took out his phone from the pocket of tge shirt I was wearing to take a few pictures of us and when I switched it on I saw a I miss you text from an unsaved number and I lost it . All he could say was he us really trying to build something and Im messing things up."
'Woah , he is still chasing skirts? Wasn't the car a promise to do right by you?"
'One of the best days I will run him over  with that same car, but what about you? How's your side of town ?"
'It's the closest thing to the garden of Eden , I wish I had  met him earlier "

****Duduzane Buthelezi ****

I find Mpilo sitting on the couch smiling at his phone and I snatch it quickly , because I know for a fact that he didn't make up with his girlfriend and that he must have met a Capetown influencer somewhere. But I look at the name on the screen , at the Te Amos , the profile picture , the wall paper and back at him.'Who is Lungile?" I ask and before he can answer our uncle comes in with frozen turkey , pork and beef trays and asks 'which one are we starting with?" . ' Pork" Mpilo answers snatching his phone from my hand , shoving it in his back pocket and taking the pork tray from our uncle.

I call my girlfriend and tell her about our guest and the braai and ask her to buy the fruit punch ingredients that Courtney used last time so she can make one when they get home.
' So Malume what brought you here? It's not like you missed us" Mpilo asks and my uncle's hand pauses mid air with a Heineken bottle as he stares at Mpilo.' You see mfanam I have a gift. A gift of seeing women for who and what they are , when uButi introduced your mother to me I looked into her eyes and I knew she was there because she loved him and  now they are still happy , after all these years . So when he told me about your partners I knew you guys were serious about them and I'm here to make sure that you're choosing the right ones" he says and he sips his beer.

****Siyanda Simelani****

On the way home my boyfriend calls me and tells us not to pay attention to anything his uncle has to say because he is an uncultured loud man who doesn't know how to shut up and I can tell that he is worried sick so we assure him that we won't pay attention and I try my level best to calm him down and to assure him that whatever his uncle has to say won't hurt or break or ruin us .

So we park behind next to a silver grey old Mercedes-Benz and we open the boot and take things out. You can hear him from inside the house talking about some soccer player he likes and how he is the best in South Africa. 'He sounds drunk , which could be fun " Courtney says as she pushes the door open.

'Buyuselani lezo zinto phandle , there are men who have to do that , hayi nina !" A short , bald headed light skin man  with big round eyes says  walking up to us and as we turned around this short man bellows , ' Duduzane no Mpilo! Ni khuliswe ngu bani? Abafazi ba thwala kanzima NI KHONA?!". Mpilo is the first out of the house followed by Duduzane who looks tired.

****Duduzane Buthelezi ****

My father's brother is giving me a headache. Im convinced he took after his mother because a real man can't be this loud , this annoying and this funny. It doesn't make sense! Instead of taking things out of the boot I hug my girlfriend and give her small kisses , I tell her I love her in Zulu , In English and in broken Sotho and she giggles as I attempt some Afrikaans too.

We introduce our girlfriends to him and vice versa and then we go back to our braai stands and leave the women to do the salads , the fruit punch and to freshen up. He tells us to dish up and give them a break because he knows that they handle all the
chores in the house , as if we we were raised to turn women into slaves and I sigh. Hamba Salukazi se sangoma! Fly high and touch mount Everests tip .

****Siyanda Simelani****

We sit outside around the lapa and the interrogation  begins . Malume asks where I'm from and what I did in University, if I have siblings and then he looks at my boyfriend and nods. Instead of asking Courtney the same questions he just says , ' Courtney ungi phoxile! With all the men in Uni , in Gauteng , you chose him? I mean sure he is my nephew but you chose him? How?"
'Malume!"- Mpilo
'I'm genuinely shocked , she is beautiful , she a has good positive energy. She has dimples , she's educated ...ima... u'm hambela inyanga wena ...oh right ngiyayi bona manje-"
'Malume-"
'Wena Du ungazi ngene , we all know how flawed Mpilo's character is , I'm  genuinely shocked that he is with someone because of love and not because he impregnated her and her father forced him to marry but because of love...like uthando kind of love"
'Malume you last saw me two years ago , I grew up , I changed , you did too but no one is saying anything about it "
'Hai if usho njalo then okay  , but I know you.Mina ! I know know you ,anyways lethani le punch ngi phuze mina."he says and Courtney and I both stand up.

We have a few glasses of fruit punch before it really gets into our system and we crank the speakers up and dance like our lives depend on it. We drink some more and dance some more and I feel like the happy person I was genuinely meant to be from birth. Duduzane takes of his shirt and dances like he is a So you think you can dance contestant and I know im drunk because everything looks good , from the way he dances to the way Im dancing and I feel like standing ontop of the roof and plunging into the pool .