Gabsile

chapter 15

She comes over four more times before he stops coming home on saturday nights  & arriving at 6pm on sunday  when his food is warm. I cook and dish up for him non the less , I go to war with myself everytime he doesn't come home. Half of me wants to call him out on his bullshit but what if he leaves me ? What if my silence is the only thread holding this marriage together ? I have no one in his family who will sit down with him & talk sense into his head.

The other half of me wants to pack up and leave him. Go back to my mothers place and tell my uncles to give him back his lobola but I worked soo hard in this marriage I would feel like a coward if I gave up plus this will pass , everyone gets cheated on everytime, im not the first and im lucky because he doesn't lay a hand on me.

The state of my marriage affects me and my work. Today I was given a warning for snapping at a child yesterday and calling him a worthless piece of shit . It really wasn't his fault & when his mother walked into the principal's office fuming I owned my mistake and apologized but my principal gave me a warning and two days  off to gather myself & work on my problems.

I really tried reassuring her that it was a once off thing because I can't stay here for two days but her word was final so here I am , sitting in my car in the garage contemplating staying at home or visiting my mother. I make up my mind and drive to my mothers house.

I take her out for some shopping and instead of saying thank you she points out the weight loss. I give her an excuse that she buys and she talks about something I thought visiting her would avoid , pregnancy. Apparent Akhumzi's mother came to visit her for tea after the imbiza drama and all she talked about was babies & how she was waiting impatiently for my baby. I try changing the topic but that causes her to ask me about the infamous Lungy & I feel like dying.

The drive to my mother's house  is silent & I enjoy the peace that comes with it , with being near my mother , the only woman besides Gosiame who loves me for me. I try and soak up all of this good feeling and peace before we get home because im certain she won't allow me to stay the night. I stay for dinner and drive back home to an empty house .

I allow myself to indulge in some wine and good music. I have fun in my house alone like I used to at my mothers house as a teenager when I was home alone. The devil who happens to be an SAPS employee waltz in & walks right passed me , no kiss , no greeting nothing.  This man really hates me & I'm holding onto hope. Way to go Siyanda.way to go.

I crawl into the bed and touch his arm , I lean in to say goodnight but he rolls onto his side and I fall back and sleep. His romantic demon must have returned because he made me some breakfast before work & left a note ,reminding me that he loves me & my stupid heart smilled. I nearly shed a tear , maybe things are going to be alright.

He comes back with red roses & some chocolates. He hasn't forgotten that I love white chocolate & he kisses me , for the first time in 4 four months. He cooks me some creamy chicken spaghetti & we eat, cracking jokes in between & holding hands. We wash it down with wine & we go to bed , staying up for some steamy, toe- curling sex.