Junebug • TWD

3. Quiet and Guilty.

I'm out in the woods with Sophia, Carl, Louis, and Eliza. We ain't that far away from camp, 'cause we know better than to go running off. We're following a bunny rabbit. Carl wanted to learn how to hunt, so I'm teaching him. Sophia just wanted to come along, and I don't mind, 'cause I like Sophia. Eliza and Louis were playing tag at first, but when they saw us chasing the rabbit, they came running after us.

Anyway, I got my slingshot and a few small rocks. I don't like using my slingshot as much as I like using a rifle or my dad's crossbow. I'm not allowed to use either a' those without my dad right by my side helping me, though. Plus, Dad's got his crossbow with him now and he still ain't here, and I can't use a gun because firing off shots here would only lead the dead people right to us. So slingshot it is.

All the other kids are real loud when they walk. They don't mean to be, but they really are. They keep scaring off the rabbit and then we have to go chasing it some more, but I don't tell them that because I think they like chasing the rabbit better than they'll like killing it. I don't even like killing 'em that much, but Dad says we gotta eat. Circle of life, I guess.

The rabbit comes to an abrupt stop and starts sniffin' on some grass. I skid to a stop, which makes Sophia and Carl go ramming into my back, and Louis and Eliza go ramming into their backs. They all start giggling. I expect the rabbit to start running off again, but it's still sniffin', surprisingly. Carl hushes Sophia, and they stop giggling, even though I can tell that they have to try really hard to. I load a rock into my slingshot and I pull it far back, lining it up with the rabbit.

"Can I do it?" Carl asks me, forgetting to whisper. As soon as he says the words, the rabbit scurries off, fast as lightning.

"Aw man, you scared it off again!" Louis complains.

"Come on!" Sophia exclaims, jumping up and running after the bunny rabbit. I get up, too, then Carl, Eliza, and Louis, and now we're all running after the rabbit again. Sophia's in front, but then Carl starts catching up to her because he's a real fast runner. I'm coming up next to Eliza and Louis when Carl and Sophia make a quick turn to the right, behind some bushes. Then they start screaming, so me, Eliza, and Louis run even faster until we're around the bush, too.

When we turn around the bush, I see a dead man chowin' down on a deer. And I'm thinking, shame, we coulda had that deer for dinner. Apparently, that's not what the other kids are thinking, because they all screaming and calling for their mommas. I back away, too, but I don't got no one to run to, since Merle's gone and Dad's still out. Even if they were here, though, I probably wouldn't go running to 'em.

Merle's still in Atlanta. I was thinking about him when I went to bed last night, because the tent was all empty with both him and my dad missing. I felt like crying last night, too, because I'm real worried about him. But Rick says he's gonna talk to Dad about it, and they're gonna bring Merle back. So that's what I'm trying to remind myself. Teaching the other kids how to hunt is a good distraction, too, but now I'm looking at the dead man and I catch myself wondering if Merle's a dead man, and it's too late.

Now, one thing you gotta know 'bout me is that I ain't never killed no one before, not even a dead man. Before we got to this camp, whenever Dad and Merle had to kill 'em, I got left in the truck. So I don't even know much about these guys. I know they're dead. Dad made that real clear, 'cause when I first saw him kill one I thought it was an alive person. But now I know that they're dead and it ain't a bad thing to kill 'em twice. It lets them rest.

I'm staring at the dead man when I'm suddenly shoved backward by Shane. I keep behind him, watching as some of the men of the group- Glenn, Shane, Dale, Rick, Jim, and Morales- start beatin' the thing down with all sorts a' makeshift weapons until Dale finally slices off its head with an axe. Once the thing is dead, my eyes go to the deer instead. I'm thinking that, maybe, if we cut it up right now, we could still eat the deer without getting sick. Cookin' things kills the bacteria, don't it? I don't know. But now that I'm lookin' at the deer, I can see that its got some bolts in its body. In fact, those are my dad's bolts.