Junebug • TWD

20. Bad Secret Keepers.

My dad is staring at me. I can feel it. Carl's sitting next to me on this stupid bench at this stupid picnic table. I've got a stupid plate of eggs in front of me. That's why Dad's watching me. He knows I'm not gonna eat it. I just bet he's waiting to see if I ask for something else or if I just throw it away.

This is embarrassing. Everyone else is eating their eggs. I wish I could. Well, I guess I could. It's just real hard. That's all.

I push the scrambled eggs in circles, staring down at it.

"The eggs are really good, June. I swear," Carl tells me, raising his eyebrows at me. I'm glad he's not mad at me. I snitched to my dad last night about the gun Carl stole. Turned out, Shane ratted him out earlier and I was stressing out about it for no good reason.

I huff. "I bet they are," I say, stabbing the eggs. Wish my brain would let me eat 'em. I really do. But I can stare at them as long as I want, and my brain ain't warming up to 'em.

"Juniper, honey, eat your food," Lori calls out to me. I look up from my plate and see her standing right next to my dad, watching me and Carl. Dad glares at her and I look down at my plate again.

I scoop up a piece of egg with my fork. I lift it up to eat it. And then I drop the fork back down and take a sip of apple juice instead.

Lori lets out a huff that I can hear from all the way over at this stupid picnic table. "Juniper, Carol cooked those. You wouldn't want to be rude and-" she starts to say. I hope I'm not making Carol feel bad about her scrambled eggs.

"Why don't you mind your own damn business?" I hear Dad snap. I bow my head lower, pretending I can't hear them. I push the eggs in circles again. "It's fine. I'll make her somethin' else," Dad mutters.

At that, Lori scoffs a bit. "She's never gonna grow out of this if you just give her what she wants every time," she says. I can tell by her voice that she's not trying to be mean or rude, but it does sort of hurt my feelings.

"She's my kid. I'll raise her how I wanna," Dad tells her. Carl eyes me, but he thinks I don't notice it. I do.

"Look at her," Lori says quietly. I'm sure she's gesturing towards me, and it makes me want to melt down into the ground and disappear forever. I shrink down lower, hiding my face with my hair. "She's malnourished. She needs to eat. Look- Hey, June, come over here," Lori raises her voice again, calling out to me.

When I look up, Lori beckons me over to her, but Dad shoves her hand down, getting in front of her. "Lady, I told you. I'mma make her somethin' else.  She ain't gonna starve," he says. He's getting more and more irritated. I can hear it in his voice.

"That's ridiculous. She needs to learn to eat what she's been given," Lori says with another scoff.

"Yeah, I've tried that. It ain't that simple," Dad retorts. He's using a quiet, hushed voice, but I can still hear him.

"It is that simple, Daryl. I've raised a kid of my own. I think I know-"

"Lori, there's somethin' wrong with my kid," I hear Dad tell her. He doesn't say it like he's mad or sad about it. He says it like it's a fact. I already know my dad thinks there's something wrong with me. I heard him talking to Maggie about it. It sort of hurts to hear it out of his mouth again, though. And this time he doesn't think it, he knows it. "I'm tryna figure out what's goin' on with her and you tryna make it your problem ain't fuckin' helpin'. Maybe if ya watched your own kid, he wouldn'ta' stolen a gun."

Lori goes quiet. I don't look up to see, but I bet she's staring at my dad, all offended and everything. My dad offends people a lot. I don't look up from my plate until I see my dad's hand grab onto the plate. He takes the plate away and eats the eggs for himself. He goes into the house and, a couple of minutes later, he comes back out with a plate of crackers. I don't mind crackers, so I eat as much of them as I can.