Falling For Trouble {Under Construction}

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Lyric watched him take a step back, incredibly wide eyed. "Oh god.." She barely heard him whisper. He was touching his parted lips with the tips of his fingers like he had just admitted to a crime, something so inexcusable that he couldnt believe he had dared let it fall from his lips. She felt frozen in time, unable to speak or move of a muscle. If only that were true, because she would go back in time and never answer that door, or maybe go back even as far as two years ago and fix ever falling for Alexander. Love? No, I couldn't have heard him right, no. Troy began shaking his head and she could tell that he was hesitating to speak by the way his lips twitched, his eyes wandering anxiously. "Shit..I didn't- I didn't mean-.." Troy began quietly and his eyes quickly returned to hers, but then he stopped speaking. She could tell after he went completely silent and nervously swallowed, that he knew that there was no coming back from that. This has to be a dream, or he's just confused, we've only known each other for a couple months. Lyrics hand slowly traveled up the back of her arm, gently pinching her skin to confirm whether or not this could all infact be a dream, but the stinging sensation proved that this was reality. He knows what I have done, who I was, and what has been done to me. How could someone like him love someone so-.. She just stood there with that horrified expression on her face, scrambling for the right word in her head. -Me. She settled on. "Lyric, say something.." He pleaded quietly, his eyes flickering to her lips and then her eyes again. All of those looks that we shared, the secret touches, holding me at night, it wasn't just lust for him? That's the only reason anyone has ever treated me this way. Her stomach would not rid itself of a warm fluttering sensation that persisted to linger the longer she thought about everything they had shared, and his words, even when she rested her hand over it. What is this odd feeling? She dug her fingertips into the cloth of her shirt as her thoughts flooded her mind, overwhelmingly so, maybe even more overwhelming than the feeling of the butterflies in her stomach that she tried to convince herself was anxiety. She swallowed thickly as they stared at eachother in silence, she didn't know what else to do besides try to get this straight, because keeping her thoughts to herself was just making everything worse. Her eyes fell closed, and she opened her mouth to speak, first drawing in a deep breath before beginning. "So you- you love me..and you want me? You've always wanted me?" Her eyes opened to meet his, "What happened at the party, you..did it because you were in love with me? Not just attracted to me, and my body?" Lyric whispered and slowly crossed her arms over her chest. He felt his eyebrows threading together in guilt at the thought of what could have ever made her think that. "You thought the entire time that it happened just because you're sexy? Yes of course it is extremely hard to resist you but that is not why I kissed you, I kissed you because it has been a constant recurring thought in my head ever since I met you. I love every part of you, every bit of your personality, and your life, not just how divine you are." Troy explained quietly, his eyes trailing away to the cabinets above her head for a couple of seconds while his thoughts stirred around in his, "Do you really think that if I didn't love you I would have been so willing to touch you for the first time, lose my virginity in a beer can trashed bathroom at some awful party?" He mumbled under his breath, watching something in her eyes shift, guilt and shock overtaking her vulnerably displayed emotions. Lyrics eyes searched his over and over again, for a sign of dishonesty, or playfulness, but there wasn't a trace of either. "I almost took your virginity?" She barely whispered and he swallowed, hard. "Yes." He uttered, his tone embarrassed but painfully honest. Her eyes widened in the slightest and her hand came up to barely cover her mouth, the tips of her fingers resting against her parted lips. She couldn't believe she had almost done that to him, in a place so unmemorable and a way so careless. She was unable to speak for a few seconds, tears threatening to fall from her eyes as she stared at him, in disbelief. "I am..I am so sorry, Troy. I had no idea or else I wouldn't have been so irresponsible, I would have been more..more gentle and.." He immediately began to shake his head, taking a step closer to her. "No, Lyric.." Troy began, his eyes carefully running over her face. "I wanted to, with you. You're the only person I have ever considered it with, out of everyone I've ever been with or even laid my eyes on, I know that means something." He reassured her softly and she swallowed, still fighting back guilty tears.

Lyric let it fall silent for a few seconds, shaking her a little. She was in disbelief with herself, she thought that she had moved past the actions with absolutely no thoughts behind them, she felt absolutely disgusting. "But you don't love me, Troy, you- you can't." Lyric whispered in denial, and he exhaled heavily. "You don't have to acknowledge it if it makes you feel any better, but I do..I know that I do." Troy professed quietly. A tear finally broke loose and streamed down her cheek. "I can't let you love me." She hardly whispered, tears blurring her vision. He wanted to reach out and brush away the tears from her pretty eyes and hold her tight because he hated seeing her hurt, but he was the cause this time, so he refrained. "You don't have a choice, Ly, neither do I." He admitted in a whisper, his eyes falling to the floor. "Look, I am enraged that I can't control this, because if I could then I would take it all back. The looks that were way too long, the flirty jokes and touches, going into that bathroom after you, fighting Alexander fucking Miller, my feelings for you, my love for you, all of it. I don't want to love you, Lyric, because I don't want to lose you, you're my best friend and I can't lose you." Troy professed and barely disclosed, tears flooding his eyes as they flickered up from the floor to her eyes again. "Please just let me love you, please don't make me go, this is where I want to be, where I need to be." He begged emotionally under his breath while tears began to break free. Her frustration and sadness began to melt away at the emotion in his words and how he looked like he was about to sob, her face and entire demeanor changing. "Troy.." Lyric whispered while she took in his heartbreaking expression. She took a step towards him and when she did he attempted to stifle a cry that came up the back of his throat. Lyric took another step to meet him and her eyes gently moved over his face, which made his drop again. Her body only inches apart from his, she gently cupped his face in her hands and made him look up at her, which he reluctantly did. She gave him a look of reassurance with her eyes and ran her thumb gently over his cheekbone, brushing away a tear. "You are not going to lose me, okay?" Lyric whispered slowly with her eyes searching his, "I am right here, feel." She barely whispered and stood up on her tip toes while she gently pulled his head down to meet hers, pressing a soft kiss against his forehead. He nodded softly and looked into her eyes when she pulled back, just staring into them with tears still pooling in his. Troy quickly wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into him and hugging her so tight that she could hardly breathe. She let her arms link around him as his body melted into hers, burying his face into her shoulder. They just stood there like that for minutes, holding each other in utter silence as he fought back tears just at the thought of ever losing her, this. It might be one of the most painful things he had ever had cross his mind.

She ran her hand over his back gently, attempting to soothe him. "Lets just go to bed, forget this for now, yeah?" Lyric gently whispered and pulled back from him which he barely let her do. Drawing in a deep breath through his nose, he hesitantly nodded. "Yeah..Okay." Troy said under his breath and let his arms fall back down to his side, allowing her to breathe. She gave him a gentle smile before she turned and walked towards her room. He took another deep breath when he watched her walk away, mindlessly making his way to the stairs to head up to the guest room that he had made his. "Goodnight." He hesitantly spoke up when he took the first step up the stairs. "Are you..coming?" She gently asked. Troy turned to look at her and she was standing at her bedroom door, she gave him a soft reassuring smile and a motion into her open door with a subtle tilt of her head.  It felt as if all of his worries melted away in that second, finally being able to exhale properly as he needed. He stepped back down off of the stairs and walked across the living room to her, "Oh thank god." He barely muttered and affectionately ran his hand over the side of her face when he passed by.