Trigger Warning
getting high, drinking alcohol, and panic attacks
——
A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be - Jess Benko
Asterin's POV
"Come with me." I said, pulling Kai from our spot on the bed in her temporary room and dragging her with me to their bag. I rummaged through it, pulling out a dress I don't think Kai even realized they packed with the look they gave me.
"What are we doing?"Kai asked, following me to the closet where I pulled out a very revealing forest green dress before walking to the bathroom. I threw their dress at her and closed the door.
"We're partying." I shouted just loud enough so they heard me through the door.
"Oh god." She said with a small laugh. I changed into the dress and damn did I look good. I guess if you don't feel it, you can still look it. I pinned my hair back messily but in a way that still looked good and walked out. They had the dress on and hot damn. If I was gay, boy mhm.
"Sexy bitch!" Kai shouted, fanning herself with added dramatics.
"Says you!" I yelled back. I smiled at her before scouring for my heels I knew were in here somewhere. I grabbed two pairs and handed one to Kai. Once we were ready, we snuck out of the door downstairs and walked to the nearest house party I knew was happening. It was on Xavier's street, but he probably doesn't get out anyway so whatever. He never really was the party type.
"Aye! Ash showed up! You finally off house arrest?!" A guy who looked familiar but I couldn't place the name of said.
"Nah, I just snuck out. Where's the nearest smoke circle?" I asked. He pointed to the back door and I smiled at him. I dragged Kai behind me and walked to where the guy pointed.
"Ash!" Everyone yelled upon seeing me.
"What's up!" I greeted. Tyler, someone I had become friends with, handed me a blunt and I thanked him gratefully. I took a few hits and offered some to Kai, but they rejected. I respected their decision and took another hit.
"How ya been, girl?" Tyler asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
"Good, Ty, and you?" I asked.
"Great! I'm on cloud nine!"
"Quite literally." I said, pushing the blunt back into his hands. Blakely, someone I had also become friends with, threw me a Modelo's can and I immediately caught it, pulling out my keys. I shotgunned that shit in fifteen seconds flat, everyone cheering as I did so.
"Jack?' I heard Kai ask. I whipped around and saw Jack standing behind me. A smile formed on my face upon seeing the man i'd not spoken too in what felt like forever.
"Manifold! Baldy! How's it hangin'!" I yelled, turning around to catch another can before facing him once more. He looked ghostly, as if he wasn't expecting to see me.
"Uh, yeah hi. Been good, how about you?" He asked, stumbling over his words.
"Great, couldn't be better! I'm on cloud fuckin' nine, bitch!" I yelled, laughing loudly.
"You stole my joke, high ass!" Tyler said, throwing both his arms around my shoulders.
"Yeah yeah, whatever." I laughed, bringing a hand to rest on his arms.
"That your boyfriend?' Jack asked me. My face fell, he knew he wasn't.
"I'm gay, what the fuck?" Tyler yelled with a smile. He was indeed swinging for the guys. I was his damn wing woman at every party. Well, before i got put on house arrest because Ash loved being a snitch.
"Jack, what are you doing here?" Kai asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, what does bring you to the best state in the United States, you brit!" I yelled with a wide smile. I cracked open the can and took a sip. I wasn't actually here to get fucked up, just let loose a little. I wouldn't put the aftermath on Kai, I'm not like that.
"Hey Jack, you can't just run off like-"
stranger, that's all i see
his eyes met mine and time stopped. My hand dropped from Tyler's arms and he pulled away, knowing who this was from the pictures I'd drunkenly showed him one night when I got too fucked up.
when I look into your eyes
I wanted him. No matter how bad the hurt was I still wanted him.
a soulmate, who wasn't meant to be
I brought the can to my lips and downed the entire thing in one go.
"Ash-"
"Blakely, another can." I said, turning around and walking to the girl in the chair a few feet away. She threw it to me and I shotgunned it again.
Twelve seconds.
"Asterin."
The way he spoke my name like he had any right.
The way his tone was concerned like he actually fucking cared
The way he looked at me like I was his when I never really was
not officially
I wanted to yell. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to put him in his place.
"Asterin, maybe we should get you home." He said once more, gently grabbing my wrist. I looked up and everything came rushing back. Everything felt good again. For a few seconds, the world was back on its axis.
But those few seconds faded, as did all the good I felt with him. No, now replacing it was a bubbling anger that burned my throat and my lungs and my body.
"You have no damn right." I growled out, my anger taking place of any high I was feeling. I guess when you're on cloud nine it's a long fucking fall back down.
"Asterin-"
"No! You don't even have the right to say my name! You left me because of this right?! You left me broken and confused because of this! You have no right to care! No right to take me home! You have no right to talk to me or think about me! You have no fucking right to me anymore! Go fuck yourself, Carter, because I'm so done with you. I hope I never see you again, for your sake."
I shoved my way past him through the crowd of people. Everyone looked at me with pity, empathy, sympathy.
"Go look at another fucking train wreck why don't you!" I screamed. All lingering eyes faded and it was just me and everyone pressing against me so fucking uncomfortably.
I could feel the anxiety and the panic arise. My body was going numb and my ears were starting to ring and my lungs couldn't maintain proper air.
"Ash, Ash, Ash." Kai said, following me outside. When I was finally away from people I could take a full breath. The relief hit me in such a big wave it was overwhelming. "Ash breathe, it's okay."
I felt her arms go around me
its not him
I felt her labored breathing
its not him
I could smell her perfume lingering on her clothes
it's not him
god I wanted it to be him
YOU ARE READING
Life's Greatest Gift || Jack Manifold ✔️
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