I Don't Wanna Live Forever - ZAYN & Taylor Swift
Ranboo's POV
I pulled up to the airport, hands shaking wildly. He got ten fucking tickets meaning we had to pick up Asterin meaning I have to see Asterin after eleven months. Well, kind of eleven months.
We're going to her house though, her uncle's house at least. I knew she'd be there, I saw her car in the drive the other day. Nobody questioned why I knew, i was thankful for it.
I picked everyone up, but Will got a rental instead so it was less crowded. Thank fuck because seven people in my car is a bit much. I had to take my step mom's damn minivan.
I drove around aimlessly, acting like I got lost because I haven't been to her house in a while and only went there one time before we ended things.
It was a lie, I just couldn't get out if the car with my entire body shaking from anxiety. I'd rather it shake from fucking adrenaline. So I sped around the backroads while everyone else just conversed with one another. Izzy was in the front with me and she knew what I was doing.
I knew that she had some idea of what I was doing because she knew how to get there. She knows the exact way to get to Asterin's house from anywhere within a thirty mile radius. Thats just how Izzy is.
I don't know how she knows, but I know she does. It kinda frightens me, so I keep from angering her. She has so much power to dox me.
"Are we almost there?" Toby asked from the back.
"Yeah." I said, finally slowing down and parking on the curb outside her house. "Sorry, took me a minute to remember."
"Isnt your house like, four streets down from here?" Jack asked. Okay, maybe I should keep away from Jaco because he just did fucking dox me.
"Yes, asshole, get our of my car now." I said, turning off the car and sitting there for a minute. Everyone got out, but nobody made a move to the door. Izzy just sat in the car with me.
I cant be here
I dont wanna be here
I shoukdnt be here
She doesnr want me here
I'll send her spiraling again
fuck
fuck
fuckfuckfuck
"Take a minute to gather yourself. It's all gonna be fine. If it helps, I'm just as anxious as you. We havent spoken since we fought over the phone a while ago. She didnt even look at my happy birthday message. Trust me, you're not alone." Izzy said softly, squeezing my hand to try and help.
Her words calmed me some, but not enough to relieve my body from shaking wildly. Despite everything, I smiled my thanks at her and got our of the car. Once Izzy was out, Tommy grabbed her hand and I locked it behind us.
Every step i took felt like a million years off of my life. I remembered my last time here like it was yesterday.
The smell and taste of the food her uncle reheated for us.
The sounds of This Town by Niall Horan playing through the airpods we shared.
The sight if her blond hair shining so brightly under the dim lighting and how well it went with how bright her smile was.
The feel of her body moving against mine as we dance.
The feel of her lips on mine.
The feel of her body pressed against mine as we cuddled in a twin sized bed.
The feel of the grass beneath us as we watched the stars.
The feel of waking up in the morning next to her.
The feelimg of Asterin Heart in and of itself.
"I shouldn't be here." I whispered, my breath falling from from me as quickly as it could. I could feel a panic attack running up on me as my body felt like it was going ti cave in.
Nobody heard, nobody but Izzy. She squeezed my wrist tightly with her free hand as Tommy pounded on the door.
The dogs barked loudly.
There was a baby crying somewhere.
The footsteps down the stairs that lead to the door.
The knob turned and I could feel my heart stop.
When it opened and i looked at her, I could see just how terrible things were.
I thought that maybe if I pretended she was okay enough then she would be. That if everything was fine in my head, so was she in reality.
But mind games and reality are two different things.
Asterin Heart is barely the girl she once was, and that's the Unfortunate Reality ive quickly come to realize staring at her on her doorstep with six others crowding around me.
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Life's Greatest Gift || Jack Manifold ✔️
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