Feel Like Shit - Tate McRae
We called every night. Every single night we would facetime. We get into one fight and suddenly that goes down hill. Suddenly we don't call every night. Suddenly we don't text each other our little goodnights. Despite the time difference, It was still an instinct on my end.
Especially, especially, since I'm half an hour away from the man. Izzy has been amazing, but she is currently at Tommy's house. I was invited, I wanted to go but I declined. I wanted to fix things with Jack. I wanted to sort things out. I didn't want this back and forth shit. I wanted him, but lately it's not been very mutual. It feels like he just doesn't want me at all anymore.
We haven't texted for two weeks now. I'm packing to leave for the states again. This time though, I'm taking Izzy with me. We're all gonna go visit Caroline for her birthday.
My phone started buzzing and I prayed it was Jack, it wasn't. It was Niki.
"Hello, Niki love. Is everything okay?" I asked with a fake sense of happiness. Of course I was happy to talk to her, I was rather unhappy it wasn't Jack though.
"Jack got drunk last night. He said a lot and I just, I feel like you two should talk. He won't be the first to message because he is rather immature and won't be the bigger person but he's hurting, Kai."
"Niki, I- Thank you for caring for him. I'll reach out, i cannot promise i'll do it so many times but i will. Only because I leave today and I don't want the last time I see him to be us fighting."
"You leave today?"
"Izzy and I changed our flight. Her and her mom got into a rather bad argument about her moving out and it's like a battleground. Tommy is still flying out in a week but me and Iz are leaving early, yeah."
'You should tell him. He had a lot of plans for your last day."
"Before or after the fight?"
The line went silent. And she answered every question there was.
"Exactly, Niki. I love you and god do I love him. Niki, It'll take a lifetime for him to understand how deep my love for him runs, but this back and forth is killing me. I guess lack thereof to be honest. I just can't keep up with it for much longer. We disagree and it's like everything goes back to square one. It shouldn't be like this."
"I know, just try to hear him out please."
"I will, for my sake not his. I really do love him, more than he thinks." I replied before she disconnected the line. I assume Jack walked in as I heard the door. I contemplated sending him a text and before I could talk myself out of it, I just sent the message.
jack sinclaire <3
I'm leaving today, sinclaire.
The typing bubbles popped up and disappeared a lot. I assumed he was writing a paragraph, but he rarely writes those to me anymore unless we are fighting.
Wait for me
Please
You can't leave this country upset with me
I had plans
Please
Kai wait for me
Kai Manifold please wait for meI'll wait for you
My flight leaves at 9:30
You have until 7:00, sinclaireOkay thats fine
I'll be there in an hourYou're three and a half hours away
Two at most then
Jack
No
You can't leave mad at me
I'll be there soonFine
Be safe sinclaire
<3<3
I really tried to wait for him. I waited all day at my hotel. I walked from my hotel to Izzy's house back to the hotel.
He never showed.
He stood me up.
And I was tired of feeling like shit for something he's never given me the chance to explain.
Guess some things just arent meant to last a long time.
I'm tired of holding on and trying to fight for something he doesn't want.
I'm done.
"Jack never showed, did he?" Izzy asked, sitting next to me in the chairs by our gate. Liam and I got here first, his flight being before mine and I wanted to say goodbye to him properly.
"No, no he didn't."
"He's so fucking stupid. I'll beat his ass for you because god only fucking knows what's going through his brain right now." Izzy said, taking down her ponytail and putting it into a messy bun.
"I'm just glad I get to meet Caroline." I said, leaning my head on her shoulder as I switched topics.
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