Abhinav

Part 13 - Abhir

It was 5:30 a.m. on a cool Saturday morning. Abhinav sat quietly in the living room, intertwined fingers resting on the dining table. He had mostly slept the past week, making a complete recovery.

Abhinav sensed Akshara entering and looked up to see her. A terrible sadness and a desperate hope adorned her face. She walked and stood still as a statue near the window, looking out, not seeing anything, lost in her thoughts. After some time, she said, 'Let's go, Abhinav'. He heard the nervousness in her voice. 'Not now, Akshara. Trust this driver of Kasauli. I will make sure you reach your destination. On time'.

5:50 a.m., Abhinav held the car door for Akshara and drove on the path of his destiny. 5:59 a.m., he stood outside the house that held his heart and walked in.
'Wait, Abhinav! It's minute to six. Manjari Aunty is looking for the smallest excuse to create an issue about'.
'We are to see Abhir at six, not the gate of his house', said Abhinav, firmly, not breaking his stride.

Akshara's mobile alarm rang just as they entered the Birla living room. Abhinav felt Akshara's fingernails dig into his arms. 'Abhimanyu and Manjari Aunty again. No Abhir. He.. isn't here again. He won't.. come.. with us', Akshara whispered, her voice breaking.
Abhinav held her hand tightly in his own.

'Where's Abhir?', Abhinav addressed Abhimanyu.
'So, Mr. Sharma, finally removed time from his busy schedule to grace our house', taunted Manjari instead.
Abhinav pressed against Akshara's hand to stop her from protesting. He didn't move his eyes from Abhimanyu, paying no attention to Manjari.
'He has refused to go with Akshara. No one expected you to come', said Abhimanyu, arrogantly.
'I want to meet Abhir', said Abhinav, calmly.
'Sharma ji, he doesn't want to see you either. Maybe, your wife didn't tell you exactly what happened last time'.
Abhinav ignored the jibe, exercising a steely control on himself. 'Please get Abhir here. I want to talk to him'.
'Sharma ji, stop forcing decisions on my Junior. He doesn't want to see you. Please leave'.
'Kindly tell me which is his room. I will go and meet him'.
'No, Mr. Sharma. In which language should I..'

'ABHIR! ABHIR! COME TO THE LIVING ROOM AT ONCE! ABHIR!'.
Everyone in the room got startled.

Manjari found her voice first,' Mr. Sharma! It's 6 in the morning! My family is sleeping. Stop creating a nuisance!'.
'ABHIR! DID WE TEACH YOU TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS? COME TO THE LIVING ROOM NOW!'.
'Jiju!'. 'Oh! That unruly driver! Someone call the security.' 'Maasa'. 'Papa'.
Papa. Abhinav closed his eyes, sending a fervent prayer of thanks to Akshara's Kanha ji. Papa. Abhinav felt the void in his chest fill up. His heart had returned, eager to beat to the little miracle's tune.

Abhinav's eyes knew exactly where to look even though he had been in this house only twice before. His vision blurred and he quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He couldn't waste a single moment like this, not being able to see his son.
20 days, 20 long days that had passed like 200 lifetimes.

'Abhir', breathed Abhinav, like a devotee took the name of God. Abhir met Abhinav's gaze as though the impossibly soft voice had reached him. Abhinav gazed at Abhir for a long moment, before remembering why he had come there.
'Abhir, come down. I want to talk to you'. He heard Akshara's uneven breathing that preceded a panic attack. Akshara cannot take another rejection. That's why she hadn't run to Abhir the moment he appeared, Abhinav realised and tightened his hold on Akshara, seeking to comfort her.
'Akshara, the three of us are going to Goenka House today. This is the word of a man of the Mountains', said Abhinav, the deep convinction in his voice soothing Akshara.

Manjari saw Abhir coming down the stairs, moving towards Abhinav and was infuriated. 'This sudden concern of yours is fooling no one, Mr. Sharma. Where were you these past 3 weeks? No phone, no visit. Infact, in the first weekend, you could not be bothered enough to come with your wife! Getting up early on a weekend morning too much work for you?'.
Abhinav ignored her thoroughly, his attention focused only on his son.
He saw sadness in Abhir's eyes, a sadness too great for his young age. Defiance too. Abhinav held out his other hand to Abhir and saw Abhir's hand reach out for his automatically.

'Had Abhir been your real son, would you have still behaved in the same way?'
Abhinav left Akshara's hand, stunned. The words pierced through his new found heart and Abhinav closed his eyes to block the unimaginable pain.
No matter what he did, no matter how much he loved Abhir, he would never be his real father. Something would always fall short, something would always be missing. And there was nothing more he wanted than to be Abhir's real father. His RWP. There was no greater meaning in the world than to be Abhir's father and even if he gave his life, he couldn't be it. Abhir deserved better than him.

A lone tear escaped, leaving a small, wet track on his cheek. The response to it was anything but small. He heard Akshara's furious protests, Abhimanyu's feeble protests, Aarohi's shocked protests but the loudest one, the most enraged came from the most unexpected one.

'DIDA! Don't talk to Papa like that! It's bad to hurt anyone. Didn't your teacher tell you that?'.
'Junior!', called out Abhimanyu, angrily and Abhinav opened his eyes, fire in them. No one used that tone with Nikkeji.
'Is this any way to talk to your grandmother?', continued Abhimanyu.
Abhir wasn't having it. 'Dida started it. She said bad things about Papa'.
Manjari spoke,' Truth is bitter, Abhir, the fact is that this man..'
'Maa, please stop'.
'Abhi, these people..'

Abhinav interuppted, 'Abhir, everyone in Goenka House is awaiting you. Mimi, Badi Maa, Buddy, Bumi, Mama, why do you not want to meet them? You know how much they cried when you didn't come the past 2 weekends? How much they missed you? All those cakes, decorations, gifts they made for you? Tell me, Abhir, do we take love for granted? Do we disrespect the people who have only blessings for us?'.
Abhir put his head down, ashamed. 'They didn't stop me from coming here. I told all of them to keep me with them. No one wanted me to stay with them'.

Abhinav sank to his knees and gently pushed Abhir's face up, making eye contact with him. 'There is no one to tell funny stories to Mimi, no one plays with Buddy, Badi Maa has stopped making Himachali Pulao because if her Abhir can't have it, then no one will. Bumi has complained to Neelamma about me, Mama doesn't bring chocolates for anyone. I know your mumma is angry with me too though she hides it'.

Abhinav saw the sadness in Abhir's eyes vanish. 'No chocolates? Bumi complained about you? Mumma shouts at you?'. Abhinav nodded and Abhir laughed. 'See, Papa, everyone knows that I am a good boy. They are on my side. When Neelamma comes, she will also be on my side and shout at you very much for not allowing me to stay with you. I have not told Kabir and Tarun what happened. Otherwise, they would come from Kasauli and break all your things'.

Abhinav shot down the overwhelming urge to hug Abhir. 'Abhir, will you come to Goenka House with us for the weekend?'.
Abhir nodded happily, 'Yes, Papa!'.

Abhinav felt weak with relief. He saw Akshara reach out for Abhir and then pull her hand back. She was afraid of doing anything that would cause Abhir to change his mind. She was afraid of Manjari Aunty, Abhimanyu, the very Birla House itself. Abhinav understood as he still felt the same fear of Abhir's refusal.

'Papa, I won't walk till the car. You pick me up'. Abhinav bent down and Abhir climbed on him, locking his hands and legs around Abhinav. He placed his head on Abhinav's shoulder.
Happy tears flowed from Abhinav's eyes. Abhir's comforting weight had made him feel light again. Whole, complete, there was nothing missing now, nothing to search, nothing to find.

Abhinav caught Akshara's hand and made to leave Birla House, without a backward glance.
'Miss you, Junior! See you on Monday!'.
'Bye, Doc..Dad-da', called out Abhir.
Abhinav's step faltered. Dad-da. He walked out of Birla House quickly not wanting to spend there a moment more than necessary.