Bless Your Little Heart

TWENTY-FOUR

TWO/SIX MONTHS

I swirled the wine in my glass as I tapped the tip of my lit cigarette on the rim of the ashtray.  Lifting it back to my mouth to take a draw, filling my lungs with the addicting smoke.

My phone on the counter vibrating as a small text appears.

Monica (Work):
Thinking of you, hope you're doing okay!

Rolling my eyes at the text before sliding my phone farther away. I had grown used to the mass amount of 'hope you're okay' and 'hope you're doing well' texts.

Those wouldn't bring my daughter back, my house was silent. It lacked the love and togetherness it once held, my daughter brought me more happiness than I had ever known, and now she was gone.

The front door shutting snapped me out of my thoughts, quickly putting out the cigarette and gulping down the wine as my husband round the corner.

Seeing the glass in my hand he lets out a long sigh, "Honey you shouldn't be drinking," he glances to the ashtray sitting adjacent to me. "And most definitely not smoking in the house."

He snatches the ashtray up before throwing it in the garbage, disgusted written in his face.

"You have to pull yourself together." He walked past me as he peered down upon me, giving me a look of disappointment.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, our daughter was missing yet I needed to 'pull myself together'. That's way easier said than done when you don't seem to care.

"At least I act as if our daughter is missing." Sitting the wine glass down aggressive atop the counter. My anger was raging, I was allowed to act any way I please when it came to my child.

"Excuse me?" He turned and stopped in his tracks, slowly making his way back toward me.

I stand from my seat to face him, "Our daughter is gone, missing! Yet you walk around as if everything is all well!" I screamed in his face, not caring how close I got.

"Someone has to hold this family together, and it obviously isn't you!" He screamed back, storming into our bedroom before slamming the door. Leaving me lonesome in the kitchen.

The house echoing our argument back as I cried, I fell to my knees and sobbed. I couldn't hold it back, it had just became something normal I'd grown used to.

I just hadn't grown used to my daughter being gone.

I don't think I ever could.

•••

I laid with my back facing the open room of mine, the silence was a blessing after the rampage I listened to most of the night.

I heard him eventually sulk into his room, but god know the damage he's done to the house. A man of his strength and stature could destroy a place in no time.

I waited for the familiar click of the lock last night but it's very came, my door stayed just slightly ajar all night. Almost a glimmer of hope in my eyes, but he probably just forgot after he went crazy.

I hoped he did it out of forgiveness for the way he acted, but I knew better. He most likely just forgot to, leaving me here with these stupid thoughts that were nothing but fiction.

I finally found the strength to get up, still wearing the clothes he had gave me yesterday.

They were his for sure, his smell of cologne engulfed me as I huffed in the amazing smell.

Slowly tiptoeing to the door, I push it open. The loud creaks and groans echoing throughout the silent house.

Where was he?

Walking into the hallway I see the bathroom empty, at the end laid a mix of items. Food, trash, pots, pans, you name it and it was slung across the kitchen.

It looked as if two bears got into a fight in here, the mix of utensils and chicken broth seeped in the cracks of the tiles, ever so slowly making its way to the hardwood.

I couldn't believe the mess before me, all for me to clean alone. It had me wide eyed in shock at the sheer damage he caused to the room. Cabinet doors open as the contents inside laid everywhere.

Sighing I turn my head toward his room, seeing the door open. Curiously I make my way toward it, making sure to be as quietly as possible. I didn't want him to assume I'm sneaking around.

Peering through the crack I see him laid out across his bed, alcohol bottles littering the nightstand next to a medicine bottle with no cap.

I slip through the large crack and slowly step into the room, keeping my eyes locked onto his figure as I did. Every step had my heart racing, hoping to keep the beast at bay.

I pick up the pill bottle, observing the label as I read meticulously.

Ambien?

Seeing only two pills left in the bottle I assume he takes them regularly. I could use them to help sleep every now and then, it's hard to sleep when you're alone shivering on the floor.

Looking over at his relaxed body brings happiness to my soul, how he was capable to be so peaceful and yet so rough.

I knew he would be knocked out from the drugs so I took advantage of the fact, sitting in the free space beside him on the bed. The covers barely covering his shirtless body, the sweats he wore yesterday still on.

I wipe the hair from out of his face to get a good look at him, seeing the once angry face stilled, his nostrils moving every so often from his breathing.

I couldn't help but be in awe of his beauty, he truly was a gorgeous man. I wish he didn't lead the life he did, because I would one hundred perfect give him my time of day if I randomly saw him out and about.

His stubble had grown out slightly, giving his a rough and tough look, making him even more sexy than usual.

He was one who would looks glorious with a beard, I almost wish he would grow it out. Just so so could fantasize of how beautiful it was.

Feeling him stir below me I decide I had spent enough time there, slowly standing up and grabbing the array of liquor laying on his nightstand. Shutting the door behind me.

I couldn't help but think of him, how he was fighting so hard at letting me in. I truly didn't understand it, I know he wanted me. I could feel it every time he looked at me, I know my striptease caused him to go fuck his fist in the bathroom, thinking of my plump, sweet little breasts as they bounced before him.

The memory brings a smile to my lips, throwing away the debris in my hands before heading to the fridge to make something to eat.

I was determined to break him.

-

Madelyn is playing with fire & she is yet to realize it yet. She's in way way over her head but she's gotta figure that out the hard way :)

xoxo