Bless Your Little Heart

FOURTY-THREE

Ever since I was young I was used to being alone, it's something I learned to thrive with, to live with.

I was never one to want to follow a crowd, I did my own thing as everyone else were sheep to whatever people put in-front of their faces. But not me.

As I sit here staring at the white walls before me, I can't help but feel those feelings I fought so hard to keep at by in my body. The aching sadness that took over my body as the air around me was filled with nothing but silence.

I was alone.

Even the mere thought almost brought me tears, but I hated the fact this was happening. I did so much in my life to become the man I have over the years. All the blood on my hands and the past I put behind me, yet one woman seemed to have changed everything I once knew.

I truly missed her. I missed everything about her, the sweet smell that always lingered with her, her beautiful voice soothing any and all that bothered me.

I fucked it all up, one slip up cost me everything I had ever worked for. But that's not even what I was most upset about, I just wanted it to work out between us. I truly felt as if I could've had a future with her, like she was my soulmate.

But that's fucking trip to the grocery store cost me everything, fucking everything. The stupid fucking cashier, I should've known going out was a risk. It's always been a risk, yet I let her take my guard down and cause the mess before me.

A small white room with a shitty cot as my bed, and ugly ass silver toilet they expected me to use. I was truly in Hell.

Worse of all I couldn't even talk to Madelyn, they refused to let me call as her parents have now gone fucking psycho. Sure I kidnapped your daughter but Jesus let me call her, let me know she's okay.

The not knowing was the worst part, not knowing if she was safe, not knowing if anyone was watching over her, not knowing if someone was there to hurt her. Just the mere thought had my anger brimming inside.

I had talked to Phillip but per usual all he did was be a bore, saying "You knew this would happen", "I tried to warn you". I eventually just acted as if I agreed just to shut his ass up, but now Boss has put a price on my head, Phillip let it slip after rambling for god knows how long. So truly I was fair game at this point, if I were to get jumped I don't even know if I'd fight back.

I'm looking at life in prison, something I probably deserve yet somehow I feel as if I don't. Yea I've hurt women in the past but they were nowhere close to Madelyn, she hit it outta the park in every way possible compared to all of them.

I'd never do anything I did to those women, I didn't even see them as women. More like product than people.

I never treated them as people either, I didn't know them so I didn't feel obligated to. But something with Madelyn had my heart at its knees, just knowing a woman like her gave me her time of day made my dick hard.

God her body, something I missed more than anything. The curves it held were hypnotic, the way she rode me as she screamed my name was an imagine I played in my head daily.

A voice from outside breaks my thoughts as I hear someone calling out names called, I quickly stand to my feet before walking out of my cell into the large meeting star assorted for the inmates. Seeing all the disgusting thugs and criminals lounging around and starting drama amongst each other, as if they had nothing better to do with their time.

I see an officer standing with a large box marked POSTAL, my heart skips a beat seeing the man. Hoping something had came in from Madelyn, anything from her would bring a joy I couldn't describe.