Bless Your Little Heart

FOURTY

 
THREE/SIX MONTHS
 

Snowflakes.

Each different in their own way, even in the most minuet ways, they reminded me of humans. How we each were so different but yet all the same when you rip away the flesh that covers us, we're all the same. Just masses of muscle and bones with no other purpose than to survive. Each snowflake was intricately different, no one could replicate a single one.

I felt as if she was my snowflake, one I needed to keep safe from all the others. She wasn't like the other snowflakes, she was beautiful, perfectly detailed in every little way, my snowflake.

Her chest rises and falls as I stare down at the hair sprawled and tangled across her face, her arms laid beside her like she was a bird with large wings. She wasn't the most graceful sleeper but I didn't care, as long as she was tossing and turning beside me that's al I needed.

But the thought of what happens in three months still lingers in my mind, I've pushed it down but as the months pass it makes it harder to ignore. The fact I had a job, a job I haven't been doing. I'm surprised I haven't been killed by now, Mario doesn't fuck around with cargo and neither does boss.

I stand from the bed cautiously watching to not wake her before tiptoeing into the kitchen. Thoughts of her dancing in my mind as I approach the coffee pot, opening up the top and tossing the soggy liner sitting there into the garbage beside me. Humming a small tune to myself as I click the buttons, hearing a purr escape the small device.

It was cold inside since we had gotten some snow not long ago, at least two feet just sitting outside. You definitely couldn't be out in it without the proper gear, just shouldn't be out in it in general.

The purring ceases as I bring my attention back to the pot, picking it up and grabbing a cup sitting neatly beside it, Madelyn had a certain way of organizing things. A method to her madness I suppose, I wouldn't know but I'd assume she has OCD.

Slowly pouring the dark roast into the mug, the calming aroma released eased my soul. All the smells colliding as I douse the creamer into the mug, the dark color now fading to a delicious tan. Picking up the cup before dragging myself back into the bedroom to see Madelyn now in a starfish position taking up most of the bed.

I ease myself slowly onto the mattress before placing a hand on her arm and lightly shaking. "Madelyn, would you care to make some breakfast while I shower?" Only a grunt is expressed back as she shifts her body to face away from me.

"Honey please, it's almost 11." I shake her again with a little more force before she starts to stir and sits up slowly. Rubbing her eyes slowly before blinking a few times. "Sorry, I'll make some." She gives me a sleepy smile before leaning in to give me a peck on the cheek. She lifts herself off the bed and shuffles slowly out of the bedroom as she continues to rub her eyes sleepily while shutting the door.

I take the opportunity to sip on my coffee as I walk into the bathroom and start the shower, stripping the minimal clothes I had on before taking another sip of my coffee and sitting it on the countertop.

Steam filling the room as I step into the warm waterfall flowing from the shower head, allowing every bit of the warmth consume my body. My muscles crave the sensation from all the wear and tear they endure daily. Recently they'd started to ache more, even when I hadn't done much, as if they were crying out for help. Like they were on the verge of giving up, I learned to ignore it while pushing away the pain. You're useless in this business if you're weak.

Grabbing the shampoo and squirting some into my hand I bring it to my hair and begin to scrub, a much needed massage that felt heavenly. Madelyn played with my hair sometimes and I never wanted her to stop, it was like crack to me.

I hear some small sounds coming from inside the bedroom but I continue to scrub, just trying to enjoy the few moments of zen I was having.

But something felt off.

I couldn't enjoy the feeling as the sounds grew louder, footsteps beating down on the rickety wooden floors that laid through the entire house. I stop scrubbing abruptly as my blood runs cold, shoving my head into the water and frantically washing the suds from my head.

Those aren't Madelyn's footsteps.

The worst thoughts filled my mind, thinking Mario had somehow come in and was taking her away. How they would kill me for ruining the product like I did, then do God knows what to her as I'm forced to watch. A nauseous feeling grew in my stomach as I shut the water off, grabbing a towel and sloppily wiping the water beads from my body. My hair drenching the floor as it dropped continuously, I grab the sweats I had on before and throw them as quicker than I realize, tying the strings before hearing a scream.

Madelyn's scream.

My heart punched my sternum as it begins to break, thinking if my baby being whisked away without my saying goodbye. The thought caused me to feel dizzy and sick all at once.

Without second thought I rush to the bathroom door and throw it open, but even I wasn't prepared for what was happening before me.

"Malcolm Degrossi! Put your hands behind your head and slowly walk toward us!" A burly guy with a large beard yelled from behind a gun, a gun that was pointed directly at me. Along with at-least 12 other guns that were also pointed directly at me.

"Where is she?!" I scream as the men stay still, adjusting their hands on their guns as nobody responds. I felt as if they were going to shoot me no matter what I did right now.

"That's not your concern, hands behind your head Im not gonna ask again!" The same man screams back before stepping closer to me, his eye still staring down the sight of his gun.

I felt hopeless, as if I should just end it right now. But I knew they wouldn't hurt her, if anything they were doing the exact opposite. But the fact she wasn't mine anymore killed me, knowing this was it. I knew this was a possibility but I didn't care, I took the risks and they eventually caught up to me.

Slowly raising my hands I interlock my fingers on the back of my head, turning so my back faced them before taking a deep breath, and walking backwards towards the men.

They didn't waste any time to slap cuffs on me, pushing me to the ground and restraining me as they read me my rights. Fucking FBI scum. But I didn't budge, I was dead inside. All I could do is think of everything that led up to this point, all the moments we shared, the fights we fought, the love that grew.

I was basically limp as the men pulled me up and dragged me from the bedroom, I stood a good foot over most of them but it didn't seem to intimidate them. They had stern looks as they passed more men roaming my house, some with cameras, others just looking over everything, but my heart dropped once I saw the empty kitchen. Eggs on the stove as milk sat on the countertop, knowing that's where Madelyn was fueled the rage building inside me.

Pushing me out the front door into the cold frontier Im faced with loads of vehicles, one having the windows beat on from the inside, immediately I knew this was her.

"Madelyn?!" I lunge forward toward the SUV as the banging becomes more frantic, the tint too dark to properly see inside. "Get the fuck back here!" The men pull my arms back as I continue to fight, now hearing her broken voice as she cries. "Malcolm!" Her sobs were deafening as I lunged back toward the SUV, this time packing my forehead against the glass momentarily before being pulled away for the last time.

Curses and grunts escape the cops as they yell for another guy to come over, as I hear his footsteps nearing my back I stare down the window, mouthing a small 'I love you' before everything went black.

And only she was in my mind.

•••

Soooo we're in the final stretch yall, only a few more chapters before we say farewell to our peeps, whether you like them or not it's bittersweet writing these last few chapters. I hope this ending lives up to the expectations you hold this book to, because honestly? I'm not even prepared to write these last few chapters bc they're so sad lmaooooo. But momma ain't raise no bitch & Im going to write my heart out on these last few chapters <3

xoxo