Bless Your Little Heart

SEVENTEEN

Winter 2015

Walking along the cold and desolate streets of Winton alone, making the trek to the supplier I bought my goods from.

I hadn't made enough selling to buy a car just yet but amy progress was progress.

Being young I had the advantage to sell to a younger and older audience, anyone can be a drug addict. As long as they hide it well enough.

The snow crunching under my feel as I shrunk into the ragged jacket I stole. Holes littered the lining bringing minimal warmth to the inside, I held my hands cross my chest with my hands in my armpits. In this weather I was bound to get frostbite if I didn't find a place to stay.

Being 18 got me kicked out of the last foster home that I called home, one of the only in the state that would take me after all the school expulsions and 'bad behavior.'

You'd think the state would do more for kids who quite literally have nothing but nope, I felt as if I was at  the bottom of the food chain right now, a feeling I despised. 

I didn't hate being alone, I hated the fact nobody helped me. Always seeing kids get taken home with beautiful loving families as I stare out the window watching the car drive away until it became only a were blur in the horizon.

But now, I was truly alone. No parents, no siblings, no distant relatives, nothing. I had nothing and nobody.

Rounding the block I near the house, slowly walking up the cracked concrete steps. Bringing my shaking hand to the door I slowly knock two times. Backing up slightly after to leave room for the peephole.

Footsteps move behind the door as they stop just before, knowing he's looking right at me I give an awkward wave as my body shakes from the cold.

The lock falls before the door quickly swings open, revealing a half dressed Phillip.

"Malcolm! You didn't call?" He stepped back and motioned me inside, I entered, taking off my jacket as the heat from the fireplace engulfed my body.

"I don't have a phone Phillip." I coldly stated, I had told him numerous times. Yet he never seemed to care enough to listen.

"Ah, bad memory man. My bad" He held his hands up in defense before walking toward the couch and plopping down. I follow suit as I choose the arm chair adjacent to him, closest to the fire.

Sitting down felt like a different kind of relief, walking for two hours straight through a foot of snow isn't ideal.

"You got my half?" He hesitantly asked, shifting uncontrollably in his seat.

Rolling my eyes I pull the wad of cash out of my pocket, and throw it into his lap.

It was ridiculous how terrified he was of me, he was the drug dealer yet I was more intimidating. But to be fair, if you saw the two of us out and had to guess who was a drug dealer, you'd definitely choose me.

Phillip was a clean cut coke addict, he was an addict who could hide it, and hide it well. I was the only person who knew, being I walked in the bathroom one time and saw a line on the counter. I really just put two and two together.

After that I confronted him and threaten to expose him to his job, then demanded lower prices for anything and everything I buy. Businesses or pleasure.

"I'm staying here tonight, too cold outside. I'll take the couch like last time." I didn't even bother to ask him, he wouldn't say no to me.

"Y-yea that's fine man. I just have some people coming over so I don't know." He stuttered over his words and fumbled with the wad of cash in his hands.

"You're saying no?" I cock a brow at him, standing up and walking over infront of him.

"Say it again." I dared, now towering over him as she shook below me. I wasn't a build guy or anything, Phillip just knew I had the skill and experience to kill him right here.

"No! No, you can stay." He sighed leaving back into the couch. It wasn't but a second before his head popped up. "Wait," He trailed as his eyes made their way to me. "They might just like you man."

•••

I sit on the couch sorting the coke I bought, bagging up some ounces and grams to sell later, Phillips voice faintly echoed from the other room as he talked to the mystery men.

"I promise he's who you're looking for, Im terrified of the guy and you guys know me." A smirk curls onto my lips hearing his words, Phillip was a tough man, but he cracked under pressure, he was a liability if anything.

They exchanged a few more words before their footsteps began to get louder as they enter the room. Phillip along with two other men in black stood before me.

I didn't bother to look up at them as I continued my business, humming annoyingly as I did.

I don't know these guys so what did it matter how I acted? It feels like Phillips using me as a way to get good with someone but I wouldn't say that without proof.

"Ahem."

Still humming I grab the baggies and put them into a larger one. Taking my time to 'organize' them.

"AHEM."

I glance up briefly before looking back down and continuing my business. Smiling as I feel their annoyance by my actions.

Swiftly a hand pushes me back into the couch, the force knocking the breath from my lungs.

As I slump back I let out a small grunt from the loss of air, looking up at both of the men as they stood close.

"What the fuck?!" My nostrils flared as I sat up from the couch but before I even get the chance to stand two hands push my shoulders back down to the couch.

"Enough bullshit kid." The younger guy spoke as he sat down beside me on the couch, the other guy towering over me.

"Kid? Okay buddy." I scoff as I try to read their faces, they held nothing, no emotion, no wrinkles, nothing. They were almost shells of humans, even when you could feel their anger in their words.

The younger one rubs his eyes with his fingers as silence fills the room, Phillip backing up from the position he's sported this whole time.

"You have no family I hear?" The man now stares intently into my eyes, following them with every move they made.

I wasn't in the mood to be questioned, these dickheads had already pissed me off quite enough and I was about ready to walk out.

"None of your business."

He lets a 'tsk' go in his mouth more letting a deep chuckle out. Standing up from his seat and dusting off his clothes.

"Boss would want to meet this one, he's gonna like him."

-

A little Malcolm flashback lol, sorry to be a bummer &. it update recently. I moved out with my boyfriend & financially things are ROUGHHHHH. Im sure y'all know the struggle ;) anywayssss im in cosmetology school & it's going great. little life updated lol.

xoxo