Bless Your Little Heart

TWENTY-SEVEN

I never felt the need to care for anyone.

Nobody cared for the poor orphan boy, so I reciprocated the feelings.

I grew cold and shut the world out, never letting my heart see the light of day after years of torment and heartbreak.

Once I joined the cartel life wasn't much better, but I felt like I fit in more with them rather than in normal society. I never saw myself as a man with a 9-5.

But living with such blood hungry and violent men causes some of their actions to rub off on you. Growing used to the deadly fights that would break out, the multiple bodies needing to be disposed of, shooting fear into anyone I needed to.

I learned to have no emotions.

But she did something, she broke the chains holding back all I had hidden away. Instantly feeling the need to take care of her.

Protect her.

It was almost like instinct, wrapping her hand and making sure she was alright. She has a good second degree burn but nothing worthy of a hospital visit.

I just prayed boss wouldn't make a surprise visit anytime soon, seeing damaged cargo would have my head on platter in no time.

Thinking of her as the countless women I had kidnapped disgusted me, I didn't want to see her as 'cargo' she was an indescribable beauty. Her touch was like the sun beaming on your face, nothing but warmth and happiness.

I didn't want to give her up.

It had only been a short part of her stay and I was already dreading the end of it. She wasn't mine but yet my mind and heart said otherwise. It saw the way she looked at me, the way she presented herself before me.

The way she touched herself.

The memory bringing a cheeky grin to my lips, walking back into the living room where she laid along the couch. Her head nuzzled into a pillow as a movie played in the background, the blanket she had was practically thrown off.

Her soft snores filled the air as I stared down at her, admiring her beauty. The way she cuddled into herself for warmth, she was the definition of perfection.

Her skin has lightened from the toffee color it once sported, now more ivory from the lack of Sun. Her hair laid down her side cascading down her back, the blonde shining in the light.

I pulled the blanket back onto her, making sure not to wake her. I would hate myself if I woke her after everything she's been through today, it's not even noon and she almost killed her self.

I had cleaned the kitchen shortly after I dressed her wound. Last thing I needed was her stressing over the mess she has made, but the wall wasn't able to be saved. That was going to just have to stay.

I couldn't help but let my thoughts drift to her. I wasn't a man who felt love towards women, but she was different. Seeing her hurt and in pain, I couldn't bear it. I felt the need to help her.

Why?

I walk to the counter and grab the coffee pot, filling it up and dumping it into the back of the machine.

Soon my thoughts drifted off to the day I took her, remembering how terrified she was. How terrified she was of me. Now she was allowing me to tend to her needs, allowing me to get as close to her as needed.

It was different. A good different. Used to the screams and cries of the women. The banging of chains against the wall, how they begged to be set free.

Not her.

She wanted conversation, she wanted to get to know me, she wanted to get close to me. It scared me, the thought of being close to someone.

But something about her made me feel like I needed her, I truly didn't understand it. I couldn't wrap my mind around the thought of actually loving someone.

But maybe she just was the one.

•••

The thick smell of tomato sauce bubbles into the air, causing my mouth to water as I throw more spices into the mix. I was somewhat of a chef you could say, I mean spaghetti was really the easiest thing you could make.

But I thought maybe it would make her feel better. After the day she has had she really deserved it.

I heard her moving against the couch before the patter of feet fill my ears. Hearing her small voice peek up behind me.

"What're you doing?" Her voice was soft yet the sleepiness still apparent. I turn my head as she rubbed her eyes, moving the hair back out of her face.

Her beauty didn't stop showing even when she just woke up, I couldn't help but stare at her in awe.

"Cooking." I turn my attention to the noodles boiling beside me, pulling one out to test the tenderness.

"Noodles are done." I chirped moving the pot off the burner, flicking the switch off before returning back to the sauce.

"Spaghetti?" Her voice was skeptical, disappointed almost.

I dropped the spatula and turned to face her, concern laid in my eyes, "Yes?" She looked down at her feet and fidgeted with her fingers. "Is that okay?"

I bring my hand to her chin and slowly pull it up, looking into her eyes as she chewed on her bottom lip.

"It's fine." She dismissed shaking her head free of my hand, the action taking me aback. "It doesn't seem like it." I move closer to her, pulling her face back up to look at me.

"Tell me the truth." My voice was harsh but not cold, I wanted her to know I was serious, but not mad.

"I promise i-"

"Madelyn." I didn't hide the fact I was growing annoyed, if she didn't want spaghetti she could just say it instead of being a pain in the ass.

She looks at me for a minute as she stays silent, I see the tears brimming in her eyes as she fights to keep them back.

"It's the last thing I ate with my family." She let out a strained breath while looking down, seeing a tear drop from her cheek.

Fucking idiot.

I couldn't help but feel an immense guilt take over my being, after everything she's gone through today I've now further traumatized her with spaghetti.

Spaghetti.

The same thing I fed her the night she came here.

I wanted to punch myself in the face, already not wanting to know the feelings she felt that night as I forced large amounts into her mouth. Eventually causing her to be sick. It made me feel something I had never felt before.

I felt like shit.

-

Malcolm is growing a little more human lol, he's just. Malcolm.

xoxo