Memories of the past [Kazuscara]

February 3, 1987/Chapter 6

That day, Kazuha felt very sad and as if his effort was worthless. Kazuha had gone home to sleep...
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[February 3, 1987]

It was Monday, he had to go to school, Kazuha got dressed and went on the way, still feeling sad about the whole situation.

As Scaramouche didn't go to school, he stayed in his tent learning about human cultures and the things essential for his survival.

That day, Kazuha had returned from school, still feeling bad about the events of the previous day. It was strange, he had never felt this way about anyone.

Kazuha went to sit in his room, still feeling sad and overwhelmed. He felt like he was failing, and he was trying to understand why everything went that way.
"Am I doing something wrong?"
Kazuha talked to himself.
"Why am I trying so hard? I only know him for a few days, and I'm already so desperate to help him?"

Well, it was kind of obvious now, maybe Kazuha liked Scaramouche in a romantic way. One thing was certain... They were both 14 years old, nothing would work out if they started now, and even more so with the personality that Scaramouche had.
Kazuha still wasn't sure what he felt... he would wait until he was a few years older, to see if it was right. Scaramouche was too complicated too.

Did he have feelings for Scaramouche...? Well, if he did... that would be a difficult situation.
Scaramouche did not seem to be interested in him, that's for sure.
And... he might be just too different.
He was so mean to him.
Maybe it was just sympathy and friendship. They were both kids, right? There was no need to rush things, right? He had time to think.

Kazuha sighed, he couldn't think about it anymore. He left the house and went to find Scaramouche, wanting to apologize if he did something wrong.

As Kazuha went, he saw Scara on a battlefield training, killing monsters and training with professional dummies, he was dodging and attacking, clearly it would happen in the future, when he would be a fatui.

Kazuha just stopped walking, watching Scara training for a few moments.
So, he approached him, and called him.He wondered what he would say.
"Scaramouche, can I talk to you?"

Scaramouche sighed in anger, he dodged the dummy's attack and turned it off, he took a towel and wiped the sweat from his face, he drank water before speaking.
"Fuck, what do you want?! Disrupting me in my training?!"

Kazuha was calm, he could see that he was not ready to listen, so he decided to just explain himself with a smile.
"Well, you see... I'm sorry about trying to force you to accept my affection yesterday. I just wanted to help you in some way, that's all. I understand if you didn't want me to hold you, it was fine. It was just all too sudden. So, I apologize."

"Whatever, I don't care, leave me alone, idiot..."
Scaramouche rolled his eyes, a little annoyed but also feeling sorry for Kazuha for treating him so badly.

Kazuha was trying to be calm, but he could feel his heart breaking.
He was so cold, why!?
Scaramouche did not even try to look at him, he was just ignoring him.
That hurt.
So, he decided to say something else, with a smile.
"I wish you could see how much I care."
And this time, he meant it.

Scaramouche was ready to go again to his training, but when he heard this, he stopped.
Scaramouche didn't want to be rude like he is, but he refused to get close to anyone to the point where it mattered, he would never let that happen again after what he went through in his life.
Therefore, Scara does his best to keep people away from him, he knows that he deserves a destiny alone, and that is what he believes.
...But hearing Kazuha say that he still cares made him feel really bad about hurting someone who just wanted to see him happy, even though Scara didn't really believe that Kazuha really cared.