Memories of the past [Kazuscara]

January 3, 1988/Chapter 12

And so it was, Kazuha never lost his love for Scaramouche.
They spent the rest of the year celebrating various festivals, Scaramouche had his days where he was in a good mood too, and that was good...
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[January 3, 1988]

It was Scaramouche's 15th birthday... and it had been 1 year since he met Kazuha!
In fact, their first meeting was not pleasant, but after all, it was worth it, Kazuha managed to be his friend.
Scaramouche felt better having Kazuha by his side that day, he felt he could trust Kazuha more.
They were both sitting in the moonlight that day, on the roof of Kazuha's house.

"I can't believe it's already been a year.." Kazuha says, and he looks at a star in the clear winter sky.
"I remember how you treated me poorly when we first met. But I still wanted to be by your side."
Kazuha says, still remembering the first time he met him.
Kazuha stands up next to him, and he puts one of his hands on his shoulder. He's smiling, and he looks at Scaramouche's eyes.
"You're important to me, you know?"

Scaramouche stayed silent, he turned his gaze to the moon, before looking back at Kazuha.
In that time, Kazuha had asked if Scaramouche cared about him.
It was the moment, the moment that Kazuha had written in the notebook years later.

"You had a somber look in your eyes as you finally said it."

"I care about you Kazuha, more than anyone else in fact, but I cannot say I 'love' you in the way you mean."

"I remember asking if that's all it would ever be, for us. Friends."
"You stayed quiet for a moment, the only sound I could hear was the soft rustling of the wind."

"A bit more than friends, but no less than friends."

"You whispered to me that night."

That was what happened, Scaramouche did care... In fact, he loved Kazuha, only...as a friend.

Kazuha was smiling warmly as Scaramouche talked to him. He wasn't looking at him but listening to everything he had to say.
"I understand..."
He says.
"...that... you can't love me the way I love you..."
He paused for a moment, before he hugged Scaramouche tightly, as if he didn't want to leave him in that moment.
As he hugs him, he whispers:
"...I... I don't want to lose you..."

Scaramouche hugged him back...finally.
"I don't think you will, you're just so annoying, you make me come back every time."
He laughed.

Kazuha, giggling, hugged him tighter.
"I... I always want to be with you, no matter if it's just as friends..."
"Just don't forget about me... okay?"
He whispered.

"I won't."
Scaramouche whispered back, looking at Kazuha in the eyes.

Kazuha smiled at him, and caressed Scaramouche's cheek.
"I will... still stay by your side..."
"Even if it hurts..."
"For me... you're enough as a close and important friend, even if I have feelings for you, but... I'll love you and care for you, no matter what."
He sighed.
"And if one day you decide to be something more... I'll be happy and grateful to be yours."
"If not... It's okay too..."

Scaramouche smiled, lots of things changed...
Scaramouche actually cares and trusted Kazuha, it was like a miracle, he wasn't rude... Not as before, he just liked joking around sometimes, or when he was in a bad mood, he was arrogant.
"I'm not sure if we will be able to be together some day."
He sighed.
"But the day I feel like I know what love is, the day I understand what true love is... Maybe, we can be more than friends. But this is not a promise."