the book of my messy thoughts

Your going to fall in love

"You're going to fall in love with a girl with hair a little longer than mine, another writer-type with all sorts of ideas about things but perhaps a little less aggressive about them, you're going to kiss her in ways I taught you and you're going to figure out some new ways too & when the two of you have sex, she will be a bit better at it than I ever have been

You're going to fall in love with a girl that smells good enough for you to bury your face in the curve of her neck & her tummy will never growl like mine always did. She'll be deep & mysterious but she won't come with a heavy past on her shoulders. She won't ever keep you awake with worry. She'll always text back & never bite too hard & never act in a way she can't explain later. She will not cry when she gets drunk, she'll just fall asleep beside you. You'll fight with her sometimes because all couples fight but it won't be with the teeth & claws we had, it will be almost gentle, it will be over before it really gets going.

You're going to love until you're no longer sure if what we had was all the special. You'll start badmouthing me to all your friends. You'll forget about me in most moments & eventually you won't even be able to tell someone what our first date was or our first kiss or even if you fucked me the last time me spoke. I'll just be gone to you, just a memory a girl with dark eyes, a half-capable poet, some word on you tounge your no longer sure of but remember that you used to know it.
I will no longer be important "
-"I'm still holding out hope that somehow someway well end up together in the end......" ///r.i.d

-- this so true of us this is what I feel will happen & I'll just have to sit back & watch it & every word is exact minus the fucking but I just want it all back someday if its possible?