the book of my messy thoughts

Force of Nature

I don't get it how people say they know me like yes they do but don't you see I don't even know myself because am such a complex person I listen to alternative music but also love clasical music, am shy but I can be loud as shit, sometimes I can be super insecure or super confident, I see where am going in life but yet I don't, I would always tell myself I am not dumb am not going to fall in love at a young age, but yet I did, I like to make things but also break them, I hate being sad but welcome it with open arms, I don't understand why I do these things I don't mean to do them intentionally it just ends up that way usually and I hate it all in the moment but love it later in because it made me better in a way in a way thats hard to explain but just better, a little stronger & a little wiser truth is you don't get wiser with age that's a load of BS you get wiser by living by messing up by getting hurt that's how humans learn its in our nature & I guess that's why I am the way I am because I don't fight against our human nature I go along with it like the sand goes with the waves of the ocean, and the particals goes with the wind and they all end up in totally different places than where they began that's how life goes I guess but its the thing that most adults don't understand nor much people they can't save us from this world nobody can we just have to live it and go through with our story the way it was written to be.
-me