the book of my messy thoughts

conjourded up feelings

I want you again another chance I want to know what its like with you they say your an asshole & a player but you were but what they didn't do was peel back all those layers of you those layer of the popular you the you with me & my friends & the you when its just me & you is what I love the most when we would sit & watch adventure time together while everybody was gone & we would be laughing until our stomachs hurt & you would pull me to the back room & we would play on the old dusty out of tune piano and when your hands brushed against mine I felt shivers down my spine it took everything in me to keep my cool even though I had a fire in the pit of my stomach and you were the gasoline dangerously addicting & how we would play this guessing game where we sat close but it didn't feel as satisfying & I would guess which song you were playing I wanted to see more of you more than seeing you cry more than hearing you talk about your haunting past & I don't know what exactly I wanted but it was just more of you I don't know why I didn't do anything about it why you didn't do anything about it there was time where I felt our lips were like magnets but I tried so hard to keep it away I was afraid you would break my heart I was afraid of it all and I don't know if u will ever remember all of these feelings & moments or even felt anything but if you did or do I want to put it to the test & I promise I wouldn't treat you how like she does how your her backup puppy how everything is one way how I continuously watch her break your heart over & over & what I don't understand is why am I conjuring up all these feelings now? -me (am so sappy ik)