the book of my messy thoughts

Halsey & Matty

"He doesn't like to cuddle. He likes to grip my hips and pull the fibers of pink tissue into shreds from my lip with his teeth. He throws his hands in the air like a messiah & leans his head out the open window.easy.breathe.condeine.breeze. We laugh loudly & kiss loudly & moan loudly. He mouths vulgar things that make me giggle in front of our friends. I run my hand along the seam of his tight black jeans beneath the table top. He rolls his eyes & smikrs at me. We take every opportunity to touch,to feel so secretly. So public. Exhibitionist pleasure. We play like children, tousling my hair & I climb in his back. We roll spliff after spliff & talk rapidly & vigorously & trip over each others sentences like a sidewalk crack. He says " us" like it means "amen" & his eyes burn with a wild fire of passion. We get drunk off wine & skin & things we love. His smile erupts his face like it could shatter his cheekbones. His eyes glimmer like a lake catching the glare of the moonlight. A glint of silver is glowing up his hairline. He thinks it makes him look distinguished. I laugh & agree. He loves to be so much older than me. He thinks it makes him wise. We spend alot of time in hotel rooms with doors shut. (We spend alot of time outside hotel with our mouths shut). He thinks the Xanax makes the sex last longer & I don't argue. I always wake up first. I sit at the desk & work quietly & glance at him in the sheets. Vulnerable & quiet. Soft face. Soft sounds. A warm cup of coffee & marmalade light through the windows. We bond over the love for our brothers. We fight over where to chord change..........
-well I searched Halsey & Matty bc I wanted to find pics of them I did & also this but couldn't find the ending but thought it was quiet good